deepundergroundpoetry.com
Silver linings and Insignificance
Tissue-paper irises ringed with
an alcoholics rusted lining
(as Fates pot of silver
paint was padlocked firm)
flit from the clock-hands to
the sky at compulsive
intervals.
The skyline wavers blunt and sharp,
darkness tipping the scales.
As grass stems rock me in their
softly swaying hammock,
I feel weightless.
My green glass bottle lenses
illuminate specks of distant light.
There is something breath-taking
in being insignificant.
Something that unleashes
the silver lining.
an alcoholics rusted lining
(as Fates pot of silver
paint was padlocked firm)
flit from the clock-hands to
the sky at compulsive
intervals.
The skyline wavers blunt and sharp,
darkness tipping the scales.
As grass stems rock me in their
softly swaying hammock,
I feel weightless.
My green glass bottle lenses
illuminate specks of distant light.
There is something breath-taking
in being insignificant.
Something that unleashes
the silver lining.
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likes 15
reading list entries 0
comments 31
reads 161
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
- Edited 14th May 2018 7:37pm
10th May 2013 8:41pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Silver linings and Insignificance
10th May 2013 10:06pm
Anonymous
- Edited 17th May 2018 7:38pm
10th May 2013 9:17pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Silver linings and Insignificance
10th May 2013 10:07pm
Anonymous
- Edited 3rd Sep 2019 11:37pm
10th May 2013 9:58pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Silver linings and Insignificance
10th May 2013 10:08pm
Re: Silver linings and Insignificance
10th May 2013 10:03pm
Maybe I'm tired, but I'm having trouble following the connection between the first stanza and the rest.
All of it beautifully written, and I love how insignificance is captured here
"As grass stems rock me in their
softly swaying hammock,
I feel weightless.
All of it beautifully written, and I love how insignificance is captured here
"As grass stems rock me in their
softly swaying hammock,
I feel weightless.
1
re: Re: Silver linings and Insignificance
10th May 2013 10:06pm
It was meant to capture waiting,
anticipating the night;
I'm not very good at time frames.
Thank you for your comment :)
anticipating the night;
I'm not very good at time frames.
Thank you for your comment :)
re: re: Re: Silver linings and Insignificance
10th May 2013 10:18pm
Time frames were fine, I loved
"flit from the clock-hands to
the sky at compulsive
intervals"
I guess the first two lines I need to figure out, really, but no worries, I still enjoyed it very much.
"flit from the clock-hands to
the sky at compulsive
intervals"
I guess the first two lines I need to figure out, really, but no worries, I still enjoyed it very much.
1
Re: Silver linings and Insignificance
10th May 2013 11:29pm
re: Re: Silver linings and Insignificance
11th May 2013 6:18am
Anonymous
- Edited 15th May 2018 00:09am
10th May 2013 11:30pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Silver linings and Insignificance
11th May 2013 6:19am
Re: Silver linings and Insignificance
11th May 2013 00:14am
Such a dreamy write Dear Scribbler!!!
one manner in which You describe things...
this write made me think...perfect cushioning:)
one manner in which You describe things...
this write made me think...perfect cushioning:)
1
re: Re: Silver linings and Insignificance
11th May 2013 6:24am
Anonymous
- Edited 15th May 2018 9:39pm
11th May 2013 00:51am
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Silver linings and Insignificance
11th May 2013 6:26am
Re: Silver linings and Insignificance
11th May 2013 2:54am
I don't have a clue yet .... but I know its good...
REAL good..............
REAL good..............
1
re: Re: Silver linings and Insignificance
11th May 2013 6:26am
Re: Silver linings and Insignificance
11th May 2013 9:33am
I agree with everyone, this really is an amazing write, well done Scribbler :D
xox
xox
1
re: Re: Silver linings and Insignificance
11th May 2013 10:31am
Anonymous
- Edited 15th Apr 2019 9:40pm
11th May 2013 11:26pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Silver linings and Insignificance
12th May 2013 8:29am
Re: Silver linings and Insignificance
12th May 2013 00:54am
Beautiful imagery, I like the message of things we take forgranted or treat as insignificant are really worth a lot. In this case I see the narrator's point of view as laying in the grass waiting for the stars to come out. Those small distant lights that are still amazing.
I kind of get a sense that the reader is literally going blind though. But even as metaphor I guess going blind works because she's closing her eyes to the things we see as important and opening them to things we ignore.
Wonderful writing Scribbs
I kind of get a sense that the reader is literally going blind though. But even as metaphor I guess going blind works because she's closing her eyes to the things we see as important and opening them to things we ignore.
Wonderful writing Scribbs
1
re: Re: Silver linings and Insignificance
12th May 2013 8:41am
Thank you, you understood exactly
what I was trying to get across :)
Thank you for your comment wolfman!
what I was trying to get across :)
Thank you for your comment wolfman!
Re: Silver linings and Insignificance
re: Re: Silver linings and Insignificance
12th May 2013 8:42am
Anonymous
- Edited 11th Jun 2019 9:40pm
12th May 2013 7:43am
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Silver linings and Insignificance
12th May 2013 8:45am
Re: Silver linings and Insignificance
Anonymous
14th May 2013 7:32pm
Once I read the title....I knew this would be an amazing read! I was not disappointed!:)
Wonderful ink, Scribbler12
Wonderful ink, Scribbler12
1
re: Re: Silver linings and Insignificance
14th May 2013 7:43pm