Strangled Scream.

At work....
Gritted teeth grind behind phoney smile.
Eyes try to disguise the vile.
Nails dig so deep in palm
wash away blood, ignore self harm.

At Home alone...
Tears land on hurt hand.
Search ceiling for the leak.
Mind realise came from own eyes
slap in the face.
Being weak! BEING WEAK!!!

Hissed words when speak.
Doubled over with crippling self hate.
Fist pounds on floor
BERATE! BERATE! BERATE!

Stiff spine all the time,
knotted stomach, nose-bleeds,
head aches upon head-aches.

The pain never sleeps.
The peace never wakes.

In nightmares try to claw
way out of own skin.
Fleeing from the place
where need to turn in.

In death, see last breath
escape as phantoms dance in steam.
Rising up from boiled blood
and strangled scream.