On Broken Wings we Fly

This is a lot more succinct than the pieces I've seen from you before, this style of writing definitely suits you. Nice one

Thanks Dystopian, trading in anger for something a little more consistent.

Cheers Mr. A, I took some time to reflect and to improve, and here's the results. Thanks again, I'll use your advice, glad you enjoyed the read!

Cheers Strider, stride on.

Great thoughts here, Evan. It's unfortunate about the broken wings being a cliche, because it DOES fit so well here.

I liked it very much.

That makes me even more satisfied, the fact that I made a cliche tasteful to the reader. Thanks for your time Atakti.

Don't take this the wrong way, but you'd be awesome at writing greeting cards.  No offense or belittlement whatsoever, meant--but I can see you working in that industry.  As much as we tend to poke fun at Hallmark, looking beyond that, there really are some talented minds that churn out everything from the very touching to the hilariously snarky;  you'd fit in well!

Bwahahhahhaa! It's so wrong to laugh, I realize that someone gets paid for that work, and it takes skills, and definitely Evan could tackle that easily, but...

Hahahahaha, the thought of Mr Sarov working for Hallmark just kills me! hehehe

Omg, I can't breatheeeeeeeeeeee. MadameLavender, thanks for the giggle...

bwahhahahahahaaa!

Haha thanks Madame, all taken light-heartedly :-) Thanks for stopping by.

Evan could totally kick ass with those "in your face" cards that you try so hard not to pee your pants laughing about while reading them alone in the card aisle of stores, while hoping no one's watching you!!

Ahaha! Would you like a card from me Madame? Aha.

Shalom brother, thank you.

Wow. The emotional depth of this piece really captivated me. Especially the second time I read it...it sunk in. I think many of us can relate to what you've written here.

Also, your repetition of "again..." was really effective for me. It set in that idea of repeating things over and over... Obviously the word itself instills that feeling also :P but your repetition of it, and the places you put it in the poem worked even better.

Great write Evan.  

Glad I did my part as a writer! :-) Thanks Shelley, always great having you leave your comments. Thanks again.

:) You're welcome

great!

It's within these seeds
of desolate hope,
where anger is cast aside
and nary a murmur of dark breaks through.
love this verse

Thanks, glad you enjoyed my work. :-)

Thank you, JamieBun :-)