I Use

This is an old shortened version of a piece about coping methods called "I use"... in Aus the National Slam has a 2 minute cut off, (crazy eh?) so kinda edited on the fly to keep the narrative somewhat appealing.. Its an old performance from when I first started Spoken word (got the drunken swagger on to complement it lol).. The real version is here if you care to hear it :)  
 
http://soundcloud.com/jackyt/i-use
 
 
Words by memory - its never the same twice:
 
Im a happy guy
I got great friends n family, n no need to hide on the dark side of life and slide on the sly
Im a happy guy
No reason not to feel complete while completed and whole on the whole
Im a happy guy
even when happy hour graces us, and we’re faced with the faces of the faceless, fazed less and the faithless..
Im a happy guy… but im also a user
 
So they say everyone has their poison, right?
Nah that don’t fit quite tight.
I don’t wanna be limited to just one of my choices  
Id like to think everyone has their poisonS
 
Coz sometimes I…
wanna waste a wet weary Wednesday with some wine, alone
wanna wake slow  with some weed and worry about nothing but my woes
Sometimes I want a coupla Panadol… but only when I don’t have a headache  
An once a year I abuse the shit out of Methylchloroisothiazolinone…. That’s just shampoo, coz this shit stinks (dreads pointed to lol)
 
But lately, well wat can I say
Depression isn’t welcome, an will-less-ness wastes another day
There are other ways, yeah I know how they play
I seek solace, skip the town again and run far away
Easy to drive, with ya foot on the floor
Easyta contemplate nothing, follow fickle footy scores
Easy to be content, complacent unbent, easy to work fuck and eat
Always on time with the rent…
 
And when I cant seem to care and apathy’s in the air
I use
When depression has me stressin, and I never use discretion
I use
An obsession to these sessions, rarely second guessing
I use
Well Why whine? When I can wine and dine, white and western with my blessins..
 
When I use
And Ima continue to use, coz I love my life as a mess
And ill continue to use for more n more stress
And ill continue to use, till I become less
AND THEN
Well I’ll use- and become… use-less
 
 
 
Yeah okay okay, I get it, I see the negatives
Everytime Im reaching for a bottle from the top shelf of that bottom shelf, im accutely killing health and repeating myself
 
And everytime Im reaching for a bottle from the bottom shelf of that 'top shelf' Im acutely killin health and repeating myself
 
And the mushy clouds they cause vision shrouds, the weed the speed the ecstasy, brings nothing but devils next to me, the acid leaves me phallus flaccid and placid, fake feelings of fantastic lacking tenacity, lewd and crude ecstatic baaastard… and don’t forget the booze!!
 
We all have our own coping methods true
I get it. Progression is the lesson
…But ima still use