Getting Fucked Up COMPETITON

I can’t remember what I did
But there’s a bag of burritos in my kids crib
And why is my remote control
In the fridge
And who the hell is this girl  
I just woke up in bed with
She said her name is Ronald
And we met last night
On craigslist
Can’t remember if she’s a girl
But she claims last night was transcendent
I’m starting to think
Mixing vodka with vicodin
Is highly not recommended;
Now why is there a fat guy  
Sleeping on my couch
With an open mouth
And a half eaten corndog hanging out
Alright it’s time for everyone
To get their shit and get out
If I have to shout it again
Yall will find out  
What the bat in my hands all about
I’m just going to get my keys  
To the car and leave
And just ignore  
The Christmas ornaments
And cheese smeared on the tree