Submissions by weaver
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
I aim to write poems with rhyme and rhythm and which entertain, amuse, or have the potential to help make the world a better place.
Limerick 2
There once was a sheriff named Patrick,
Whose penis was long and elastic.
With trousers undone,
He lassoed and hung,
The country’s most wanted, fantastic!
Whose penis was long and elastic.
With trousers undone,
He lassoed and hung,
The country’s most wanted, fantastic!
127 reads
0 Comments
Be The Friend
Be the friend who won't be swayed,
Be the friend they can't persuade,
Be the friend who just says no,
And tells the pushers where to go.
Be the friend who's standing firm,
The one to whom the others turn,
When they want to learn the way,
Of saying no to booze each day.
Be the friend who'll just refuse,
To ever drink a drop of booze.
Be the one who's walking tall,
Who will not compromise at all.
Be the one who's unafraid,
To sip on milk or lemonade,
Who doesn't care if they belong,
Whose will is iron, and twice as...
Be the friend they can't persuade,
Be the friend who just says no,
And tells the pushers where to go.
Be the friend who's standing firm,
The one to whom the others turn,
When they want to learn the way,
Of saying no to booze each day.
Be the friend who'll just refuse,
To ever drink a drop of booze.
Be the one who's walking tall,
Who will not compromise at all.
Be the one who's unafraid,
To sip on milk or lemonade,
Who doesn't care if they belong,
Whose will is iron, and twice as...
137 reads
2 Comments
She Swayed Her Hips And Cracked Her Whips
She swayed her hips and cracked her whips,
And did some acrobatic flips,
Then loved me tender with her lips,
And stripped the way a stripper strips,
And showed me all her naughty bits,
Naked from her toes to tits.
She had me at her fingertips.
I thanked her for six weeks of bliss,
She was a most amazing miss.
And did some acrobatic flips,
Then loved me tender with her lips,
And stripped the way a stripper strips,
And showed me all her naughty bits,
Naked from her toes to tits.
She had me at her fingertips.
I thanked her for six weeks of bliss,
She was a most amazing miss.
230 reads
2 Comments
The Drink That Makes Your Muscles Shrink
There is no alcoholic drink,
That doesn't make your muscles shrink,
Who'd want a drink that makes you weak,
That's just no good for your physique,
And stops you living at your peak?
Who'd want a drink that leaves you limp,
And makes you flaccid as a shrimp?
I think I'll pour it down the sink,
There're many better things to drink.
That doesn't make your muscles shrink,
Who'd want a drink that makes you weak,
That's just no good for your physique,
And stops you living at your peak?
Who'd want a drink that leaves you limp,
And makes you flaccid as a shrimp?
I think I'll pour it down the sink,
There're many better things to drink.
79 reads
0 Comments
Limerick 1
There once was a man called Anonymous
Whose nose was extremely erogenous
Being rather nefarious
He poked it in areas
Where its presence was thought quite anomalous.
Whose nose was extremely erogenous
Being rather nefarious
He poked it in areas
Where its presence was thought quite anomalous.
100 reads
0 Comments
Give It To Me Straight
If you love me, tell me now it's real,
If you love me tell me how you feel,
Will you show me so I know it's true?
If you want me let me know the deal.
Why do you like to hesitate,
And make me wait to find my fate?
I'm a fella who likes it elementary,
Just give it to me straight.
If you love me make it clearer
Don't act shyly please be nearer,
Why keep me guessing just say yes,
Tell me now there's no one dearer.
If you love me come on over here,
Why not whisper in my ear?
Make it plainer, please...
If you love me tell me how you feel,
Will you show me so I know it's true?
If you want me let me know the deal.
Why do you like to hesitate,
And make me wait to find my fate?
I'm a fella who likes it elementary,
Just give it to me straight.
If you love me make it clearer
Don't act shyly please be nearer,
Why keep me guessing just say yes,
Tell me now there's no one dearer.
If you love me come on over here,
Why not whisper in my ear?
Make it plainer, please...
93 reads
0 Comments
Our Love Will Go On and On, And On
When all the suns have come and gone,
And cease to shine their cosmic rays,
When all their fires have long expired,
And there won't be any more days,
Our love will still go on, and on,
And on, forever, endlessly.
You can depend, it will not end,
But will endure relentlessly.
For you and me infinity
Will merely be a second,
We will be friends beyond the time
That time itself is reckoned.
For you and me were meant to be,
And meant to be eternally.
And cease to shine their cosmic rays,
When all their fires have long expired,
And there won't be any more days,
Our love will still go on, and on,
And on, forever, endlessly.
You can depend, it will not end,
But will endure relentlessly.
For you and me infinity
Will merely be a second,
We will be friends beyond the time
That time itself is reckoned.
For you and me were meant to be,
And meant to be eternally.
86 reads
2 Comments
Making A Killing
Hey Big Booze, don't run away,
How many did you kill today?
Perhaps ten thousand, maybe more,
Just like you did the day before?
Selling poison to the kids,
Telling lies and spreading fibs,
Killing people night and day,
Spreading misery every way,
Making every problem worse,
Putting people in a hearse,
Killing people in a crash,
Just so you can have more cash,
But in the end you're gonna lose.
We're gonna boycott all your booze,
So you can watch your profits shrink,
We just don't need your rotten drink.
How many did you kill today?
Perhaps ten thousand, maybe more,
Just like you did the day before?
Selling poison to the kids,
Telling lies and spreading fibs,
Killing people night and day,
Spreading misery every way,
Making every problem worse,
Putting people in a hearse,
Killing people in a crash,
Just so you can have more cash,
But in the end you're gonna lose.
We're gonna boycott all your booze,
So you can watch your profits shrink,
We just don't need your rotten drink.
105 reads
2 Comments
Though Bees May Swarm Around This Flower
Though bees may swarm around this flower,
I will pluck it for you,
To demonstrate to you, my love,
How much that I adore you.
There is no maiden I would trade
In place of you my dear,
There is no her who I prefer,
No woman who's your peer.
From sea to sea, there is no she
As eminent as you,
Compared to thee all others be
Not worth the briefest view.
There are no words which I have heard
Sufficient to convey,
The magnitude of pulchritude
You constantly display.
Nor are there writers I could cite
To fully...
I will pluck it for you,
To demonstrate to you, my love,
How much that I adore you.
There is no maiden I would trade
In place of you my dear,
There is no her who I prefer,
No woman who's your peer.
From sea to sea, there is no she
As eminent as you,
Compared to thee all others be
Not worth the briefest view.
There are no words which I have heard
Sufficient to convey,
The magnitude of pulchritude
You constantly display.
Nor are there writers I could cite
To fully...
66 reads
0 Comments
Why I Love You
I do not love you for your face,
Though it is very pretty,
I do not love you for your brain,
Though you are rather witty.
I do not love you for your wealth,
Though you are rich and I am poor,
And as for all the things you do,
They're not the things I love you for.
My love for you is wholly due,
To all the ways that you are you.
Though it is very pretty,
I do not love you for your brain,
Though you are rather witty.
I do not love you for your wealth,
Though you are rich and I am poor,
And as for all the things you do,
They're not the things I love you for.
My love for you is wholly due,
To all the ways that you are you.
130 reads
2 Comments
I Refuse To Choose To Use Booze
Almost since when I was born,
I've hated booze of any form.
I'm staying true to me, not booze,
I'm free to choose, and I refuse,
To use a drug as dumb as booze.
Who cares what other people think?
Our lives are worth too much to drink.
I will not do what I think's wrong,
Just to feel like I belong.
I've hated booze of any form.
I'm staying true to me, not booze,
I'm free to choose, and I refuse,
To use a drug as dumb as booze.
Who cares what other people think?
Our lives are worth too much to drink.
I will not do what I think's wrong,
Just to feel like I belong.
104 reads
2 Comments
Hey Big Booze This Poem's For You
Hey Big Booze this poem's for you,
Just look at all the harm you do,
The old, the young, and children too,
Are underground because of you.
You kill so many people who,
Would otherwise be live and well,
I'm telling you to go to hell,
And take the rotten booze you sell.
You know damn well it's not okay,
To murder thousands every day.
We know you like to earn your fees,
By causing cancers and disease,
But you're not gonna get away,
We're really gonna make you pay.
There will be lawyers suing you,
They're gonna beat...
Just look at all the harm you do,
The old, the young, and children too,
Are underground because of you.
You kill so many people who,
Would otherwise be live and well,
I'm telling you to go to hell,
And take the rotten booze you sell.
You know damn well it's not okay,
To murder thousands every day.
We know you like to earn your fees,
By causing cancers and disease,
But you're not gonna get away,
We're really gonna make you pay.
There will be lawyers suing you,
They're gonna beat...
53 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by weaver