Submissions by blocat
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
Comedy writer and also write serious stuff from the heart when I'm in the mood. Without humour life has no real balance and we take ourselves too seriously. I use humour as armour against the slings and arrows of outrageous circumstance. ;-)
Aged Love
And you my love, now that age and infirmity
Has dampened physical expression of our love
Still show your truth in small gentle ways
Filling my days
With the warmth of your devotion
“No you sit there, stay in your chair I’ll do it”
It’s against my wishes but I let you
Because you want to
Bringing my morning tea you stroke my head
Planting on its silvering crown a kiss,
Token unspoken of your deep affection
Setting the mirrors of my memory to reflection
Our lives run together like twin rivers ...
Has dampened physical expression of our love
Still show your truth in small gentle ways
Filling my days
With the warmth of your devotion
“No you sit there, stay in your chair I’ll do it”
It’s against my wishes but I let you
Because you want to
Bringing my morning tea you stroke my head
Planting on its silvering crown a kiss,
Token unspoken of your deep affection
Setting the mirrors of my memory to reflection
Our lives run together like twin rivers ...
90 reads
0 Comments
Nuts to You
The inspiration for this story came from a joke I was told years ago so if the theme sounds familiar my apologies.
Old Tom lived alone but was not lonely. His eighty six years had slowed him in body and to some degree in mind also. In the sheltered accommodation in which he lived he was loved by the other residents for his unceasing helpfulness, cheerfulness and generous disposition. He was an old world gentleman of the best sort.
Tom's warm smile was marred however by a severe lack of teeth even the ones he did possess were just age blackened stumps jutting at improbable...
Old Tom lived alone but was not lonely. His eighty six years had slowed him in body and to some degree in mind also. In the sheltered accommodation in which he lived he was loved by the other residents for his unceasing helpfulness, cheerfulness and generous disposition. He was an old world gentleman of the best sort.
Tom's warm smile was marred however by a severe lack of teeth even the ones he did possess were just age blackened stumps jutting at improbable...
138 reads
2 Comments
Limericks
124 reads
0 Comments
Valentine's Villain
318 reads
0 Comments
Love's Labour's Lost (Him & Her)
120 reads
0 Comments
Ode To Jules (My best friend)
134 reads
0 Comments
The Bishop's Conference
Come gather all ye clergy, come from far and near,
Come ye and stand in conference a bollocking to hear,
For I am told you’re antics are causing grave concern,
You’re shagging your parishioners for which in hell you’ll burn.
The clergy gathered solemnly the bishop to attend,
For if he did insist on it their ways they’d have to mend,
They stood in semi circle the bishop sat before,
His little page beside him roared “Shut that fuckin’ door!”
The door slammed shut and silence fell stern looks were all about,
The bishop stood up suddenly and gave a...
Come ye and stand in conference a bollocking to hear,
For I am told you’re antics are causing grave concern,
You’re shagging your parishioners for which in hell you’ll burn.
The clergy gathered solemnly the bishop to attend,
For if he did insist on it their ways they’d have to mend,
They stood in semi circle the bishop sat before,
His little page beside him roared “Shut that fuckin’ door!”
The door slammed shut and silence fell stern looks were all about,
The bishop stood up suddenly and gave a...
76 reads
0 Comments
What's in a Name?
William Wigglesworth was a very pleasant but rather unworldly man. He'd inherited a maggot farm from his father which he now ran with great enthusiasm. Wigglesworth and Wigglesworth supplied fishing tackle shops throughout the land with every conceivable sort of bait fresh and frozen. He supplied rag and lugworm, sand eels, maggots fat and thin and of every colour and type. William kept in touch with others of the same calling and built up a great reputation in the trade.
One day he had the bright idea of starting a trade association to ensure that standards in the industry were...
One day he had the bright idea of starting a trade association to ensure that standards in the industry were...
145 reads
3 Comments
A Yank a Brit and an Aussie!
Posted here 'cos there's no humour section yet.
A Yank a Brit and an Aussie were sat in an Irish pub,
They’d drunk some pints of Guiness; they’d eaten lovely grub,
They started reminiscing of boozers far away,
This reminds me my local pub the Englishman did say,
Where every fifth drink that you called on Saturday night was free,
And the barmaids were delightful and took good care of me,
I know a bar in old New York the American gent did say,
Where on a Friday night there every fourth drink give away.
And the barmaids are all topless, young...
A Yank a Brit and an Aussie were sat in an Irish pub,
They’d drunk some pints of Guiness; they’d eaten lovely grub,
They started reminiscing of boozers far away,
This reminds me my local pub the Englishman did say,
Where every fifth drink that you called on Saturday night was free,
And the barmaids were delightful and took good care of me,
I know a bar in old New York the American gent did say,
Where on a Friday night there every fourth drink give away.
And the barmaids are all topless, young...
125 reads
3 Comments
Punch Line
He sits in the pub, quiet pint on his way home,
Minding his own business, sitting alone
Young women sitting at the next table drinking
Winking, no violets here for shrinking
Out for a laugh, an evening with the girls
Glance across at him what are they thinking?
What do they see?
Just an old guy having a drink?
Or the man who’s really he?
Whispered conspiracy, then she wobbless over, unsteady gait,
“Mind if I asks yer a question mate?”
“We woz wondering” she says mischievously, full of girlish wiles
"Wot’s...
Minding his own business, sitting alone
Young women sitting at the next table drinking
Winking, no violets here for shrinking
Out for a laugh, an evening with the girls
Glance across at him what are they thinking?
What do they see?
Just an old guy having a drink?
Or the man who’s really he?
Whispered conspiracy, then she wobbless over, unsteady gait,
“Mind if I asks yer a question mate?”
“We woz wondering” she says mischievously, full of girlish wiles
"Wot’s...
393 reads
2 Comments
A Soldier of the Sixties
On this remembrance Sunday I post this with no apologies for simplicity.
He stands there at the cenotaph, his figure slightly bowed,
Chill winds blow his overcoat as rain falls upon the crowd,
This his annual pilgrimage to remember friends he’s known,
Who went to war beside him and never made it home,
If you called him a hero he’d laugh and shake his head,
We only did our little bit there’s nothing to be said,
The other lads were heroes those who gave their lives,
Never to return again to daughters, sons and wives,
But there is much mute...
He stands there at the cenotaph, his figure slightly bowed,
Chill winds blow his overcoat as rain falls upon the crowd,
This his annual pilgrimage to remember friends he’s known,
Who went to war beside him and never made it home,
If you called him a hero he’d laugh and shake his head,
We only did our little bit there’s nothing to be said,
The other lads were heroes those who gave their lives,
Never to return again to daughters, sons and wives,
But there is much mute...
98 reads
2 Comments
Loss
I sit beside your bed
Thinking of the time I first met you
All those years ago
Where did they go?
Who is to know?
We spent the bright coins of our youth
Recklessly
Fecklessly,
Down the sunny lanes of life
Never caring where we went
Too late to repent
You stir, you speak, dark of eye and hollow cheek
My tears held in check for a love soon to be lost
I smile cheerfully falsely cheerful.
Pardonable deceit
“What can I get for you?”
Dear wife oh were it another life.
Drinking glass handed over
Your hand trembling with...
Thinking of the time I first met you
All those years ago
Where did they go?
Who is to know?
We spent the bright coins of our youth
Recklessly
Fecklessly,
Down the sunny lanes of life
Never caring where we went
Too late to repent
You stir, you speak, dark of eye and hollow cheek
My tears held in check for a love soon to be lost
I smile cheerfully falsely cheerful.
Pardonable deceit
“What can I get for you?”
Dear wife oh were it another life.
Drinking glass handed over
Your hand trembling with...
111 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by blocat