Submissions by ScarletEmber
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
Hello there, My name is Enya and I like to think I'm pretty awesome. I'm a senior at Kutztown and I love it here immensely.
I Owe Ya One
I want to go on, but I don't know how.
My thoughts are so tempting; so loud.
I could end this; their misery. Their suffering.
It's like my life is constantly buffering.
I get a few good days, sometimes in a row,
but I'm always waiting for my world to explode.
Physical contact helps soothe my depression,
but it makes me seem clingy, so here's my confession.
I trust too easy, I laugh too loud,
I always get hurt trying to make people proud.
I don't know how much longer I'll be around.
I constantly drive myself into...
My thoughts are so tempting; so loud.
I could end this; their misery. Their suffering.
It's like my life is constantly buffering.
I get a few good days, sometimes in a row,
but I'm always waiting for my world to explode.
Physical contact helps soothe my depression,
but it makes me seem clingy, so here's my confession.
I trust too easy, I laugh too loud,
I always get hurt trying to make people proud.
I don't know how much longer I'll be around.
I constantly drive myself into...
57 reads
2 Comments
Self abuse
Self abuse... I can't define.
The rush it gives me? I feel so out of line.
I can't quit now. I can't escape.
It's all I know. I've sealed my fate.
Who's to say I'll ever stop?
Who's to say I'll never stop?
The tears rush down my face,
and my heart begins to race.
Kick in the door. Scream at the toilet.
I don't need you. My face turns violet.
I can't hold back, the food needs to come out.
I heave and convulse. What's this all about?
I cannot bear, I cannot think.
When I walk down the street, the boys all wink. ...
The rush it gives me? I feel so out of line.
I can't quit now. I can't escape.
It's all I know. I've sealed my fate.
Who's to say I'll ever stop?
Who's to say I'll never stop?
The tears rush down my face,
and my heart begins to race.
Kick in the door. Scream at the toilet.
I don't need you. My face turns violet.
I can't hold back, the food needs to come out.
I heave and convulse. What's this all about?
I cannot bear, I cannot think.
When I walk down the street, the boys all wink. ...
73 reads
3 Comments
I can take no more.
To quote “Audience of One” by Rise Against, “we slammed the breaks, but the wheels went on.” Well, not we. Me. I slammed the breaks. Now, they say survivor guilt is when you survived and someone else didn’t. Well fine. I still say I can call my feelings survivor guilt. I flipped my car 40 feet. The roof should have caved in. I shouldn’t be alive. My passenger came out injury free. So why do I feel so guilty? The state trooper couldn’t believe I was standing in front of him. He’s seen people die after sliding 10 feet. So, my fall was four times greater than theirs, and I came out virtually...
77 reads
0 Comments
Perfect.
Even when I'm not there, I just make everyone miserable.
I can't do anything right.
I should really just stop trying.
It's just one big fight.
One fight after another,
I can't get a grip.
And time after time,
I try, but I trip.
I carry so much baggage.
Who could possibly love me?
I don't blame you for hating me,
I'm an idiot. I just make everything sucky.
People tell me all the time,
I'm loved, cherished, and beautiful.
I'm a good person, I have a big heart, I'm fun.
Then why do I feel so...
I can't do anything right.
I should really just stop trying.
It's just one big fight.
One fight after another,
I can't get a grip.
And time after time,
I try, but I trip.
I carry so much baggage.
Who could possibly love me?
I don't blame you for hating me,
I'm an idiot. I just make everything sucky.
People tell me all the time,
I'm loved, cherished, and beautiful.
I'm a good person, I have a big heart, I'm fun.
Then why do I feel so...
150 reads
3 Comments
I'm disturbed.
I was looking through some old facebook messages and found this. The fuck did I write?
There was was a man named Chlamydia.
Because his parents were sick, sick people.
So he had everyone call him Chlam for short.
He had a sister who was also named Chlamydia, but she had everyone call her Lydia.
But no one did. They called her Chlamydia.
And she was sad
Anyway!
Chlam went to the corner store one day to pick up a carton of milk for his mother.
She needed it for her live animal sacrifice.
And for the chowder she was making for dinner!
And when...
There was was a man named Chlamydia.
Because his parents were sick, sick people.
So he had everyone call him Chlam for short.
He had a sister who was also named Chlamydia, but she had everyone call her Lydia.
But no one did. They called her Chlamydia.
And she was sad
Anyway!
Chlam went to the corner store one day to pick up a carton of milk for his mother.
She needed it for her live animal sacrifice.
And for the chowder she was making for dinner!
And when...
195 reads
5 Comments
Stop bullying.
You made a mistake and you’re paying for it.
Kids these days lack whit.
You get kicked when you’re down, you get pushed around,
They make sure you never forget.
You paid the price, didn't you?
You’re still getting attacked.
They push and push and they follow you.
Every “friend” is another stab in the back.
You made a mistake and you’re paying for it.
Kids these days lack whit.
You get kicked when you’re down, you get pushed around,
They make sure you never forget.
You apologized. You left. They’re in your past.
You...
Kids these days lack whit.
You get kicked when you’re down, you get pushed around,
They make sure you never forget.
You paid the price, didn't you?
You’re still getting attacked.
They push and push and they follow you.
Every “friend” is another stab in the back.
You made a mistake and you’re paying for it.
Kids these days lack whit.
You get kicked when you’re down, you get pushed around,
They make sure you never forget.
You apologized. You left. They’re in your past.
You...
129 reads
2 Comments
I'm not worth it...
291 reads
7 Comments
Your hopeful eyes haunt me.
"I'm not even asking for much."
You stared at me with hopeful eyes.
I stared into the distance.
I fought away your lies.
"Just a blowjob," you said.
"I can't, I'm sorry. I just can't."
You admitted you shouldn't have done that.
But you're not sorry. You kept on with your wants.
I should feel defeated.
I should feel destroyed.
But I press on, ignoring it all.
How long was this your ploy?
I thought I sensed it,
a few weeks ago.
I shrugged it off, I'm so oblivious.
I can't...
You stared at me with hopeful eyes.
I stared into the distance.
I fought away your lies.
"Just a blowjob," you said.
"I can't, I'm sorry. I just can't."
You admitted you shouldn't have done that.
But you're not sorry. You kept on with your wants.
I should feel defeated.
I should feel destroyed.
But I press on, ignoring it all.
How long was this your ploy?
I thought I sensed it,
a few weeks ago.
I shrugged it off, I'm so oblivious.
I can't...
275 reads
3 Comments
You're not sorry.
Calling yourself a fucking asshole doesn't make it okay.
And yeah, I know you're not sorry.
If you really felt bad you would not have kept doing it.
Don't lie to me you little shit, I know your not sorry.
I said I can't.
You kept pushing and pushing.
You told me to give in.
I wished you away. I felt like nothing.
That's what I think of myself,
I am nothing.
I should not have let the happen.
I tried to stop it.
I tried to push you away.
You are strong, and my body was giving.
I feel disgusting. I...
And yeah, I know you're not sorry.
If you really felt bad you would not have kept doing it.
Don't lie to me you little shit, I know your not sorry.
I said I can't.
You kept pushing and pushing.
You told me to give in.
I wished you away. I felt like nothing.
That's what I think of myself,
I am nothing.
I should not have let the happen.
I tried to stop it.
I tried to push you away.
You are strong, and my body was giving.
I feel disgusting. I...
173 reads
0 Comments
Blinded.
I only heard one side of it.
What was I to think?
That he was full of it,
and you were innocent as can be?
Neither of you are innocent,
not in this situation.
I couldn't deal with all his pain.
My heart needed a vacation.
Funny that I felt that,
Since I think nothing of myself.
Now I think even less.
I don't blame you, but my mental health.
You never talk to me.
Unless I'm trying to die.
How was I to know your side of it?
I can't tell what's a lie.
I was left no choice I had to take sides.
I...
What was I to think?
That he was full of it,
and you were innocent as can be?
Neither of you are innocent,
not in this situation.
I couldn't deal with all his pain.
My heart needed a vacation.
Funny that I felt that,
Since I think nothing of myself.
Now I think even less.
I don't blame you, but my mental health.
You never talk to me.
Unless I'm trying to die.
How was I to know your side of it?
I can't tell what's a lie.
I was left no choice I had to take sides.
I...
94 reads
0 Comments
Hunger.
It rumbles through my torso.
If I don't satisfy it, it makes me ill.
But even when I do,
It comes back up against my will.
Sometimes I do force it.
And sometimes it forces me.
I don't want to eat.
But food is what I need.
I can't say no to it.
It's there, it must be eaten.
But time and time again,
My insides take the beatin'.
I'm surprised my stomach hasn't burst.
Nor has my esophagus erupted.
I am thankful, don't mistake that.
But how did I get so corrupted?
Some days I wake and I can't move. ...
If I don't satisfy it, it makes me ill.
But even when I do,
It comes back up against my will.
Sometimes I do force it.
And sometimes it forces me.
I don't want to eat.
But food is what I need.
I can't say no to it.
It's there, it must be eaten.
But time and time again,
My insides take the beatin'.
I'm surprised my stomach hasn't burst.
Nor has my esophagus erupted.
I am thankful, don't mistake that.
But how did I get so corrupted?
Some days I wake and I can't move. ...
105 reads
2 Comments
Sex.
1206 reads
7 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by ScarletEmber