Submissions by PoemStranger
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
The World's Most Unappetizing Restaurants - Cocking f**kborough
I was just gettin’ thirsty for a frosty brew when I saw the sign while passing through,
Naturally, I laughed out loud.
It’s just so tempting to keep right on going and step on the gas instead of slowing,
But this town was just too proud.
They must like the name of their town, otherwise they could always turn it around.
Give the damn place a new name.
Perhaps they’re proud of their historical past in spite of their being hysterically cast,
Must be their claim to fame.
So what did happen way back when? Were there fornicators hiding in every glen?...
Naturally, I laughed out loud.
It’s just so tempting to keep right on going and step on the gas instead of slowing,
But this town was just too proud.
They must like the name of their town, otherwise they could always turn it around.
Give the damn place a new name.
Perhaps they’re proud of their historical past in spite of their being hysterically cast,
Must be their claim to fame.
So what did happen way back when? Were there fornicators hiding in every glen?...
73 reads
4 Comments
The World's Most Unappetizing Restaurants - Dirty Dick's
Now I know this isn’t what they serve, and the owner has some kind of nerve
But they’ve been around since 1859.
So a lott’a folks think it’s the place to go, and it looks as though it could be so
Even in spite of their nasty sign.
I still have to look up and wonder who’s the genius behind this naming blunder
And what kind of folks would eat there?
Since I’m in the mood for a beer and a chop and my curiosity just won’t stop
Guess I’ll go in and grab a chair.
But they’ve been around since 1859.
So a lott’a folks think it’s the place to go, and it looks as though it could be so
Even in spite of their nasty sign.
I still have to look up and wonder who’s the genius behind this naming blunder
And what kind of folks would eat there?
Since I’m in the mood for a beer and a chop and my curiosity just won’t stop
Guess I’ll go in and grab a chair.
80 reads
2 Comments
Staring at Nature
Sometimes I like to sit and stare at the beauty of nature in her lair
To abandon every worry and care and to purge myself of my despair
So I kick back in my old lawn chair and breath within the ocean air
and shed the stress of wear and tear
To abandon every worry and care and to purge myself of my despair
So I kick back in my old lawn chair and breath within the ocean air
and shed the stress of wear and tear
59 reads
4 Comments
The World's Most Unappetizing Restaurants - Young Dong Garden
So let us discuss, are they like asparagus? Or Perhaps mushrooms in a row?
Are these little dongs growing, seeded by sowing in sunlight’s basking glow?
Are they portrayed, as a plant from the shade? Do they even grow in the ground?
Are they like a sprout when they pull them out? Do they sell them by the pound?
Genetically engineered or naturally speared? I’ve never seen them before.
Is this a restaurant chain or are they insane? Would I find them in a store?
Do they garnish my salad, nutritiously valid, when scrambled in my eggs?
If they just let...
Are these little dongs growing, seeded by sowing in sunlight’s basking glow?
Are they portrayed, as a plant from the shade? Do they even grow in the ground?
Are they like a sprout when they pull them out? Do they sell them by the pound?
Genetically engineered or naturally speared? I’ve never seen them before.
Is this a restaurant chain or are they insane? Would I find them in a store?
Do they garnish my salad, nutritiously valid, when scrambled in my eggs?
If they just let...
52 reads
7 Comments
The World's Most Unappetizing Restaurants - The Golden Shower
The cleansing power of a golden shower must be overrated,
If they must include an order of food it does not get me elated.
It’s an english sign, I can read it fine; the premise is well stated.
But who do they think will eat or drink now that it is translated?
I’m not unkind, there’s a frame of mind, someone’s off their rocker.
Their marketing man, has a hell of a plan. He must be a gifted talker.
If they can pull this off we shouldn’t scoff, but it would be a shocker.
If it survives, I’ll have lived five lives and be hobbling in my walker.
If they must include an order of food it does not get me elated.
It’s an english sign, I can read it fine; the premise is well stated.
But who do they think will eat or drink now that it is translated?
I’m not unkind, there’s a frame of mind, someone’s off their rocker.
Their marketing man, has a hell of a plan. He must be a gifted talker.
If they can pull this off we shouldn’t scoff, but it would be a shocker.
If it survives, I’ll have lived five lives and be hobbling in my walker.
51 reads
2 Comments
The World's Most Unappetizing Restaurants - Rong Phuk Restaurant
An enticing oriental venue with a thoroughly captivating menu
Whatever they serve, it will take a little nerve
Perhaps the waitress can be my ingenue.
By their sign, I’d conclude
They serve more then food
Being an adventurous dude
Without being rude
I can work up to the mood
especially if I dine in the nude
Whatever they serve, it will take a little nerve
Perhaps the waitress can be my ingenue.
By their sign, I’d conclude
They serve more then food
Being an adventurous dude
Without being rude
I can work up to the mood
especially if I dine in the nude
69 reads
6 Comments
The World's Most Unappetizing Restaurants - Soon Fatt
For all New Yorkers and heavy set porkers, here’s a restaurant that ought to be banned.
It goes without stating, there’s no “A” rating, and the food is anything but bland.
You might like the taste, but they reuse the waste and some of the food is contagious.
But regardless of that, the patrons are fat, because the portions are big and outrageous.
If you take it on home, you’d better eat it alone. I’t will give you the worst smelling gas.
Unless you’re compatible, your home’ll be inhabitable. You’re better off taking a pass.
But I have to confide it, I...
It goes without stating, there’s no “A” rating, and the food is anything but bland.
You might like the taste, but they reuse the waste and some of the food is contagious.
But regardless of that, the patrons are fat, because the portions are big and outrageous.
If you take it on home, you’d better eat it alone. I’t will give you the worst smelling gas.
Unless you’re compatible, your home’ll be inhabitable. You’re better off taking a pass.
But I have to confide it, I...
76 reads
5 Comments
The World's Most Unappetizing Restaurants - Wong Wong's Menu
I was checking out the food to go by looking through Wong Wong’s window.
I saw the Sum Yung Chick for $6.99 and it sounded good, and it might be fine.
Had to wonder if it would fill me up, sometimes you know, they serve just a cup.
Chinese meatballs had me undecided, cuz the One Hung Low was too lopsided.
I have got to have a balanced meal and this menu thing is a big ordeal.
Wow! The Cho Kon It’s only $9.99, I could take some back to that date of mine.
Or perhaps a little Chu Sum Twat would make the evening’s food for thought.
I’ve never...
I saw the Sum Yung Chick for $6.99 and it sounded good, and it might be fine.
Had to wonder if it would fill me up, sometimes you know, they serve just a cup.
Chinese meatballs had me undecided, cuz the One Hung Low was too lopsided.
I have got to have a balanced meal and this menu thing is a big ordeal.
Wow! The Cho Kon It’s only $9.99, I could take some back to that date of mine.
Or perhaps a little Chu Sum Twat would make the evening’s food for thought.
I’ve never...
51 reads
2 Comments
The World's Most Unappetizing Restaurants - Hung Far Low
The ownership must have some balls to advertise these culinary halls,
In such a way as to how they hang, to cater to my hunger pang.
What ever it is they cook to eat, must be some sort of Chinese treat.
I just imagine that they serve a kind of rare, Chinese hors d’oeuvre.
Perhaps this sign is meant to please, those only versed in Cantonese.
Or maybe Mandarin’s the thing, that translates how the low things swing.
Perhaps a rocky mountain treat or exotic asian tiger meat.
Maybe a steak house if you please, known far and wide to those Chinese.
Or it could be just...
In such a way as to how they hang, to cater to my hunger pang.
What ever it is they cook to eat, must be some sort of Chinese treat.
I just imagine that they serve a kind of rare, Chinese hors d’oeuvre.
Perhaps this sign is meant to please, those only versed in Cantonese.
Or maybe Mandarin’s the thing, that translates how the low things swing.
Perhaps a rocky mountain treat or exotic asian tiger meat.
Maybe a steak house if you please, known far and wide to those Chinese.
Or it could be just...
46 reads
4 Comments
The World's Most Unappetizing Restaurants - Wanker's Corner
Wanker’s Corner’s way down under, in the land of kangaroos and plunder.
And we all know what “wankers” are, so my guess is, it’s a gay guys bar.
But then I looked on Google search, before I wrote some smutty smirch.
I thought Wanker’s was in Sidney. Were I to bet, I’d have lost a kidney.
You don’t have to visit as a foreigner to have a beer at Wanker’s Corner.
It turns out they’re in Oregon state and the cliental there's mostly straight.
While mostly guys hang out there, it’s true. It’s not for gay guys, it’s the brew.
So before we judge a restaurant by it’s...
And we all know what “wankers” are, so my guess is, it’s a gay guys bar.
But then I looked on Google search, before I wrote some smutty smirch.
I thought Wanker’s was in Sidney. Were I to bet, I’d have lost a kidney.
You don’t have to visit as a foreigner to have a beer at Wanker’s Corner.
It turns out they’re in Oregon state and the cliental there's mostly straight.
While mostly guys hang out there, it’s true. It’s not for gay guys, it’s the brew.
So before we judge a restaurant by it’s...
46 reads
2 Comments
The World's Most Unappetizing Restaurants - Vagina Tandoori
I’ve never seen it on a platter or tried it dipped in batter and I’m not too fond of curry.
Though I’m somewhat reserved, I do like it served if it’s tender and young and it’s furry.
With that thought in mind I became more resigned with the name of Vagina Tandoori.
Who cared about food? The name had me glued. I burst through the door in my glory.
Imagine the surprise reflected in the eyes of the patrons while eating their cuisine.
For altogether sad, I was only half clad and for a restaurant, I was being obscene.
My elusive quest was quickly turning...
Though I’m somewhat reserved, I do like it served if it’s tender and young and it’s furry.
With that thought in mind I became more resigned with the name of Vagina Tandoori.
Who cared about food? The name had me glued. I burst through the door in my glory.
Imagine the surprise reflected in the eyes of the patrons while eating their cuisine.
For altogether sad, I was only half clad and for a restaurant, I was being obscene.
My elusive quest was quickly turning...
236 reads
4 Comments
The World's Most Unappetizing Restaurants - My Dung
My Dung
On a back street deep in China Town, a restaurant sign caused me to frown.
I would never ever be so down, that I would eat my dung so brown.
I’d sooner sacrifice a lung or have someone remove my tongue,
Then stoop so low to eat my dung. I much prefer some egg fu yung.
On a back street deep in China Town, a restaurant sign caused me to frown.
I would never ever be so down, that I would eat my dung so brown.
I’d sooner sacrifice a lung or have someone remove my tongue,
Then stoop so low to eat my dung. I much prefer some egg fu yung.
50 reads
4 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by PoemStranger