Submissions by LadyLoss
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
LadyLoss is who I am when I don't want to be me anymore.
Stay away
Stay away from me,
So I can beg you to come see me.
Stop calling me,
So I can send message after message,
Wanting to know why you won't talk to me.
Ignore me,
So I can post passive aggressive status updates,
Tell me you don't want to talk about it
So I can push my luck
Enough to make you hate me
Hate me,
So I can talk you round again.
So I can tell you,
You're still the girl I fell in love with,
Tell you I'll always be there,
Then stop trying.
So I can torture myself
Every time I see you,
About...
So I can beg you to come see me.
Stop calling me,
So I can send message after message,
Wanting to know why you won't talk to me.
Ignore me,
So I can post passive aggressive status updates,
Tell me you don't want to talk about it
So I can push my luck
Enough to make you hate me
Hate me,
So I can talk you round again.
So I can tell you,
You're still the girl I fell in love with,
Tell you I'll always be there,
Then stop trying.
So I can torture myself
Every time I see you,
About...
90 reads
1 Comment
For my Mother
On Mother's Day,
I feel it necessary,
To thank you,
For everything you've done for me.
Thank you,
Says my therapist,
From her home in Florida,
While she drives her nice car
That you funded.
Thank you,
For all the issues
You've given me,
For all the times you
Haven't had time
Couldn't make time
Wouldn't make time.
Thank you,
For screwing every
Narcissist child abuser
Mental, physical, sexual
In a 20 mile radius,
Not many mums could have found them all.
But...
I feel it necessary,
To thank you,
For everything you've done for me.
Thank you,
Says my therapist,
From her home in Florida,
While she drives her nice car
That you funded.
Thank you,
For all the issues
You've given me,
For all the times you
Haven't had time
Couldn't make time
Wouldn't make time.
Thank you,
For screwing every
Narcissist child abuser
Mental, physical, sexual
In a 20 mile radius,
Not many mums could have found them all.
But...
73 reads
1 Comment
At the traffic lights...
Under a streetlight,
Against waist high
Black steel railings,
I saw the person I used to know
Standing alone.
While I waited at the traffic lights.
Standing there contentedly,
Not playing on her phone,
Like so many of us do
To pass the time.
Just standing there,
Biting her bottom lip,
With a crooked half smile.
My memory filled in the rest,
Blue eyes that lit up with her smile,
Blonde hair that was softer
Than a childhood teddy.
A body that makes every marble statue,
In every gallery, in any country...
Against waist high
Black steel railings,
I saw the person I used to know
Standing alone.
While I waited at the traffic lights.
Standing there contentedly,
Not playing on her phone,
Like so many of us do
To pass the time.
Just standing there,
Biting her bottom lip,
With a crooked half smile.
My memory filled in the rest,
Blue eyes that lit up with her smile,
Blonde hair that was softer
Than a childhood teddy.
A body that makes every marble statue,
In every gallery, in any country...
63 reads
1 Comment
A better night's sleep
I left you on the sofa,
Because I know,
After four years,
If I were to wake you up
When you were snoring that loudly,
The grumpiest bear in the world
Would have stomped off to bed,
Been unbearable and snarled good-night,
Not touching me.
Usually though,
You wake up after an hour
Or two,
Stumble into bed,
Wrap me in your bear hug,
Your breathing slows and evens and
Until I fall asleep,
I forget I was mad at you.
You mumble in your sleep,
It's cute,
I smile,
Kiss the closest part of...
Because I know,
After four years,
If I were to wake you up
When you were snoring that loudly,
The grumpiest bear in the world
Would have stomped off to bed,
Been unbearable and snarled good-night,
Not touching me.
Usually though,
You wake up after an hour
Or two,
Stumble into bed,
Wrap me in your bear hug,
Your breathing slows and evens and
Until I fall asleep,
I forget I was mad at you.
You mumble in your sleep,
It's cute,
I smile,
Kiss the closest part of...
75 reads
1 Comment
Don't you Dare.
Every time I tell you;
Don't you Dare,
You do it.
With a wry smile
And the warning;
'You dared me'.
This time,
I meant it.
Don't you dare blame me,
For your bottle of whiskey a night habit.
Because I had a beer,
When you'd 'given up.'
Don't you dare
Tell me it might be my fault
That you can't get it up.
I'm so very sorry
I haven't grown that long black hair
And suddenly become a size 8 stripper.
Don't you dare
Tell me I'm stupid.
I am far from it.
Don't argue with me
On stuff...
Don't you Dare,
You do it.
With a wry smile
And the warning;
'You dared me'.
This time,
I meant it.
Don't you dare blame me,
For your bottle of whiskey a night habit.
Because I had a beer,
When you'd 'given up.'
Don't you dare
Tell me it might be my fault
That you can't get it up.
I'm so very sorry
I haven't grown that long black hair
And suddenly become a size 8 stripper.
Don't you dare
Tell me I'm stupid.
I am far from it.
Don't argue with me
On stuff...
70 reads
1 Comment
Oh, it's You, again.
Hello there, you.
It's a been a while since you appeared
While I'm at my worst,
Most vulnerable,
Can't defend myself from you.
The way you always turn up
When things aren't right with him.
It's been a while since I bought you dinner,
Drinks,
Since you laid your hand on my leg,
In that beautifully manipulative way you do,
Since you made a suggestive comment,
That had me pulling out my debit card
And buying you things I can't afford,
Telling you things I can't afford to tell,
And laying next to you with time I can't...
It's a been a while since you appeared
While I'm at my worst,
Most vulnerable,
Can't defend myself from you.
The way you always turn up
When things aren't right with him.
It's been a while since I bought you dinner,
Drinks,
Since you laid your hand on my leg,
In that beautifully manipulative way you do,
Since you made a suggestive comment,
That had me pulling out my debit card
And buying you things I can't afford,
Telling you things I can't afford to tell,
And laying next to you with time I can't...
53 reads
0 Comments
Your ignorance
Nearly three months.
Nearly three months since I've text you
Nearly three months since I've seen your face
Roll your eyes at me,
Smirk at me,
Sigh at one of my tales of exploits.
Three months since I've had to put up
With your other half's insecurities.
Since I got a barrage of abuse,
Since I was told
'I'm done with you,
You rancid, manipulative...'
Your ignorance astounds me.
I remember when you would call me worried,
If I seemed distant
I remember when you would drag me aside
If I wasn't happy and smiley,...
Nearly three months since I've text you
Nearly three months since I've seen your face
Roll your eyes at me,
Smirk at me,
Sigh at one of my tales of exploits.
Three months since I've had to put up
With your other half's insecurities.
Since I got a barrage of abuse,
Since I was told
'I'm done with you,
You rancid, manipulative...'
Your ignorance astounds me.
I remember when you would call me worried,
If I seemed distant
I remember when you would drag me aside
If I wasn't happy and smiley,...
68 reads
2 Comments
Not Just Today
I am your friend first,
On all days,
Not just today.
Friend first,
When things are good,
When things are bad,
When things make you feel
As though you are all alone.
You are never alone,
On any day,
Especially not today.
You never have to feel
As though no one is on your side,
I'm on your side,
By your side,
Against the world,
On all days; not just today.
Whatever else goes between us,
No matter what you choose,
Who you choose,
Whether you love me or not,
I'm your friend first, ...
On all days,
Not just today.
Friend first,
When things are good,
When things are bad,
When things make you feel
As though you are all alone.
You are never alone,
On any day,
Especially not today.
You never have to feel
As though no one is on your side,
I'm on your side,
By your side,
Against the world,
On all days; not just today.
Whatever else goes between us,
No matter what you choose,
Who you choose,
Whether you love me or not,
I'm your friend first, ...
65 reads
1 Comment
untitled again.
I don't want to go to work,
You've followed me there too.
I don't want to go into the office,
In case I have to see you,
Avoiding my eyes.
I don't want this pain anymore,
The pain of knowing I love you
Because I'm stubborn,
Won't stop loving you,
But can't keep doing it.
Not under your spell anymore,
I say, as your once upon a time words hypnotise me.
Blame it on something like me smoking.
If I don't, I'll feel repulsive.
I do feel repulsive,
Haven't been able to look myself in the mirror,
Without...
You've followed me there too.
I don't want to go into the office,
In case I have to see you,
Avoiding my eyes.
I don't want this pain anymore,
The pain of knowing I love you
Because I'm stubborn,
Won't stop loving you,
But can't keep doing it.
Not under your spell anymore,
I say, as your once upon a time words hypnotise me.
Blame it on something like me smoking.
If I don't, I'll feel repulsive.
I do feel repulsive,
Haven't been able to look myself in the mirror,
Without...
61 reads
4 Comments
Being Alone With You
This big double bed,
I've got it all to myself,
It makes me smile,
But don't worry,
It's only worth being alone
Knowing I'm with you.
Cooking for one,
Washing up one plate,
One knife and fork,
One pan, because unlike you,
I don't use every piece of cooking equipment in the house,
It only makes me smile
Knowing I'm alone
And with you.
Flirting in the bar we met in,
Because I'm alone
Even though I'm with you.
Crying in my big double bed,
Because I'm alone,
Even though I'm with you.
Pushing...
I've got it all to myself,
It makes me smile,
But don't worry,
It's only worth being alone
Knowing I'm with you.
Cooking for one,
Washing up one plate,
One knife and fork,
One pan, because unlike you,
I don't use every piece of cooking equipment in the house,
It only makes me smile
Knowing I'm alone
And with you.
Flirting in the bar we met in,
Because I'm alone
Even though I'm with you.
Crying in my big double bed,
Because I'm alone,
Even though I'm with you.
Pushing...
107 reads
2 Comments
Screw You
It was before you were an item,
Before you fell in love,
Before I realised
I just wasn't enough.
It meant nothing to her,
She only loved you,
She didn't want me,
You know it's the truth.
So now you know,
I was there first,
You were the one,
Who acted the worst.
You were the cheat,
You told the lies,
It's not like you didn't know
I told you a million times.
I told you I loved her,
I told you how long,
Yet now you know I fucked her first,
I'm the one in the wrong?!
I'm the one that took a...
Before you fell in love,
Before I realised
I just wasn't enough.
It meant nothing to her,
She only loved you,
She didn't want me,
You know it's the truth.
So now you know,
I was there first,
You were the one,
Who acted the worst.
You were the cheat,
You told the lies,
It's not like you didn't know
I told you a million times.
I told you I loved her,
I told you how long,
Yet now you know I fucked her first,
I'm the one in the wrong?!
I'm the one that took a...
60 reads
3 Comments
in bed, alone.
In bed alone again,
I never really care.
That has changed with the knowledge,
That you are out there.
It's not him I'm missing,
When I rollover to empty space.
It's you that I want to see,
Your peaceful, sleeping face.
Disappointed that you're happy,
It means you don't need me.
Your face lights up when anyone walks in,
Not just when it's me you see.
The phone calls and texts have stopped,
It's all really said and done.
You proved your strength this time around,
You found yourself another sun.
In...
I never really care.
That has changed with the knowledge,
That you are out there.
It's not him I'm missing,
When I rollover to empty space.
It's you that I want to see,
Your peaceful, sleeping face.
Disappointed that you're happy,
It means you don't need me.
Your face lights up when anyone walks in,
Not just when it's me you see.
The phone calls and texts have stopped,
It's all really said and done.
You proved your strength this time around,
You found yourself another sun.
In...
125 reads
3 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by LadyLoss