Submissions by Courtney6 (Ana Rose)

You judged me when you promised you wouldnt.
You get pissed off when i dont explain why i cut.
But its not that i won't , its that i can't.
The feelings are there but the words just aren't.

You act like im the first person ever to put a razor to my skin,
Well im not.
Im definitely not the first and i certainly wont be the last.
The deepest cuts were over it was all in the past.

Then you fetched it all back with your constant questions and pitiful glances, just give up on me. Ive had too many chances.

This is my way of coping and my way of...

im not asking for much
just an end to the pain
im sick of living this life
its all one big game
i've disappointed my mother
and angered my father no end
all the smiles on my face?
they've all been pretend
i need an escape
but quick and pain free
all these options are open
so what will it be?
my old friend the razor
or a hand full of pills
i really dont care
just as long as it kills.

this smile? its a lie
this laugh? its a fake
this dress? its a costume
im just playing my role
doing as im told
reciting my lines
whilst my true feelings are undermined
i was nearly free
but you got on one knee
so i stand in my costume
across from my beaming groom
wearing my lie
looking happy as i cry
but these arent tears of joy
thats not the emotion i wish to employ
you take my hand
and blace upon it the golden band
im now yours but you arent mine
with this ring i am confined
the deed is done
this game? you won.

Sat out here in the pouring rain
staring out into the abyss
i try to block out the painful memories
but they continue to persist

its getting cold out now but i just ignore it
and let the water drip down my neck
ever since your final day
ive been an emotional wreck

if only those kids had'nt been such dicks
then you might still be here with me
but instead you just layed there and let it happen
so with your last choice , i disagree

ive never seen much abuse before
but i know that , that was cold-blooded murder
i tried my...

Dear lover-boy,

Please paint me a picture
on your wall at head height
i know about your girlfriend
i know about your fight

i just want my pretty picture you see,
so grab a loaded weapon
and give in to me

you can paint it with your heart
or you can paint it with your head
but whatever you choose
make sure its red

take a gun in one hand
and a drink in the other
all this because of a fight with your lover

so walk

walk over to the wall
your drunk and your ready
place the weapon to your head...