Love Poems Seeking Honest Critique
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poetry about lost love, heartbreak and relationship problems
Honest critique has been requested for these poems. Want to learn the art of critique? Join our Honestly Crafted Critique group.
A perfect storm
pseudonymous and I collaborated the following piece :) hope u enjoy!
The dark night is crawling
The clouds are filled to the brim
I'd guess a storm is brewing
If I'm going out on a limb
The night that was magical
With the play of thunder and lightning
When ice was set on fire
By the force of a passionate storm
The lightning dances before my eyes
The thunder drowns out the sound of my cries
So let the fun begin
Which of us will win?
The melting night, the tremors of passion
A blanket warm and a sinful me
There you...
The dark night is crawling
The clouds are filled to the brim
I'd guess a storm is brewing
If I'm going out on a limb
The night that was magical
With the play of thunder and lightning
When ice was set on fire
By the force of a passionate storm
The lightning dances before my eyes
The thunder drowns out the sound of my cries
So let the fun begin
Which of us will win?
The melting night, the tremors of passion
A blanket warm and a sinful me
There you...
45 reads
2 Comments
...
butterflies flutter
elusive summer caressed dreams
you're my silken net
elusive summer caressed dreams
you're my silken net
67 reads
10 Comments
Rambler In Need
Coca-Cola Eyes
With Heroin Tongue
I Inhale Your Lies
Though It Kills My Lungs
Who Needs To Breathe, Anyways?
Certainly Not I
I've Been Dead Too Long
Come, I Need This High
I Need To Do Wrong
Baby, Let Me Feed This Phase
Because, When Dawn Breaks
I'm Out Of This Place
To Find Higher Stakes
In The Folds Of Lace
But, I Won't Forget Your Face
With Heroin Tongue
I Inhale Your Lies
Though It Kills My Lungs
Who Needs To Breathe, Anyways?
Certainly Not I
I've Been Dead Too Long
Come, I Need This High
I Need To Do Wrong
Baby, Let Me Feed This Phase
Because, When Dawn Breaks
I'm Out Of This Place
To Find Higher Stakes
In The Folds Of Lace
But, I Won't Forget Your Face
43 reads
2 Comments
Far Apart
![restricted poem](/images/extremecontent.jpg)
69 reads
2 Comments
Sleepy
Darling
I hear you speaking
I hear your pretty words
And something like breathing
Rhythmic windiness of life
Your only secret
But when I look into your eyes and see them sparkling
So much more than the wine ever could
You lean your head against my chest and sigh
This is when I know
And you can stop pretending
Because I do know
There is so much more to nights
When you are draped across my chest
I hear you speaking
I hear your pretty words
And something like breathing
Rhythmic windiness of life
Your only secret
But when I look into your eyes and see them sparkling
So much more than the wine ever could
You lean your head against my chest and sigh
This is when I know
And you can stop pretending
Because I do know
There is so much more to nights
When you are draped across my chest
59 reads
4 Comments
Falling Star...
I watched you from a distance...
Saw that crooked little smile...
The way you move, so sexy...
I forgot to hold on...
I fell so fast...
Fell so hard...
Leaving almost nothing of me...
I watched as you saw me fall...
I saw that gleem in your eyes...
I felt like part of you...
Your excitment made me burn all the more...
You can't see me now...
My name will be forgotten...
But, I Will always remember the way you looked at me...
As, I fell because I looked back at you!
By:RFuller 9/5/14
Saw that crooked little smile...
The way you move, so sexy...
I forgot to hold on...
I fell so fast...
Fell so hard...
Leaving almost nothing of me...
I watched as you saw me fall...
I saw that gleem in your eyes...
I felt like part of you...
Your excitment made me burn all the more...
You can't see me now...
My name will be forgotten...
But, I Will always remember the way you looked at me...
As, I fell because I looked back at you!
By:RFuller 9/5/14
61 reads
10 Comments
Cough Up Blood
When we met it's like our hearts touched and there was a spark
And when ever I looked into your eyes I was hypnotized
But when you left me it was like I was traumatized
I felt like my heart met it's demise
I never thought I could love a girl until I met you
The emotions you gave me rushed me like a flood
But did I love you or did I just love the felling you gave me
You were like a drug but now I feel like I was drug through the mud
You made my heart bleed and it fills my lungs
So now every time I think of you I just cough up blood
And when ever I looked into your eyes I was hypnotized
But when you left me it was like I was traumatized
I felt like my heart met it's demise
I never thought I could love a girl until I met you
The emotions you gave me rushed me like a flood
But did I love you or did I just love the felling you gave me
You were like a drug but now I feel like I was drug through the mud
You made my heart bleed and it fills my lungs
So now every time I think of you I just cough up blood
51 reads
2 Comments
I talk most when you sleep
She's so warm
And I'm so tired
But it's 90 and humid tonight
And she's laying on top of me
But I wouldn't move her an inch
I hold her
Feel her breathing
Whisper her name to see if she's awake
But she's not awake.
She probably fell asleep ten minutes ago
So I tell her
I tell her everything I know she'd like to hear
Everything I want to say
Everything that can really be said
I tell her then I hold her through the night
When she wakes up she doesn't know what I said
She never heard any of it.
Maybe someday soon she will
And I'm so tired
But it's 90 and humid tonight
And she's laying on top of me
But I wouldn't move her an inch
I hold her
Feel her breathing
Whisper her name to see if she's awake
But she's not awake.
She probably fell asleep ten minutes ago
So I tell her
I tell her everything I know she'd like to hear
Everything I want to say
Everything that can really be said
I tell her then I hold her through the night
When she wakes up she doesn't know what I said
She never heard any of it.
Maybe someday soon she will
57 reads
1 Comment
... lost love
trying to level out the pros and cons ...
Should I stay or should I leave? ...
Is it worth the pain?
The worry?
The heartbreak?
Is love worth the cost?
Is it worth the chance of getting left with nothing but empty promises and bad memories?
His presence still lingers here...
Haunting my every dreams.
As I'm trying to forget he ever existed.
I can't help but wonder ...
was I better off then or now?
Written by : Mariah Dalli
Should I stay or should I leave? ...
Is it worth the pain?
The worry?
The heartbreak?
Is love worth the cost?
Is it worth the chance of getting left with nothing but empty promises and bad memories?
His presence still lingers here...
Haunting my every dreams.
As I'm trying to forget he ever existed.
I can't help but wonder ...
was I better off then or now?
Written by : Mariah Dalli
50 reads
0 Comments
The Courtyard Suitor’s Trouble
There she waits among the courtyard pillars
Alone and availed in autumnal branches;
There she seats in calm breezes, there in sunbeams,
There by trickling stream, there the marbled green.
There holding her eyes down to dusty pages,
The dead of books meaning nothing to her;
Yet there, her mind’s reading is Everything,
She is part of my world, just let her be.
Nothing more can be offered to this scene,
What is never said is forever Heard;
What is never done around these corners,
Fuels the Mind beyond infinites of End.
I must then...
Alone and availed in autumnal branches;
There she seats in calm breezes, there in sunbeams,
There by trickling stream, there the marbled green.
There holding her eyes down to dusty pages,
The dead of books meaning nothing to her;
Yet there, her mind’s reading is Everything,
She is part of my world, just let her be.
Nothing more can be offered to this scene,
What is never said is forever Heard;
What is never done around these corners,
Fuels the Mind beyond infinites of End.
I must then...
48 reads
2 Comments
Her Laugh
I’ll never forget the first time I heard her laugh
I can’t remember why she did and it was slight
Probably something stupid I had said most likely
She could have stayed silent, but I’m glad she didn’t
I can’t get enough, it constantly rings in my head
It’s a drug I want, no… I NEED, but I can’t get my fix
It keeps me warm, warmer than the wine or whiskey
Every word she says is like an angel, that is full of grace
My mother always said take good care of nice things
So I keep this memory safe, locked behind my heart
Where no knife or poison...
I can’t remember why she did and it was slight
Probably something stupid I had said most likely
She could have stayed silent, but I’m glad she didn’t
I can’t get enough, it constantly rings in my head
It’s a drug I want, no… I NEED, but I can’t get my fix
It keeps me warm, warmer than the wine or whiskey
Every word she says is like an angel, that is full of grace
My mother always said take good care of nice things
So I keep this memory safe, locked behind my heart
Where no knife or poison...
81 reads
6 Comments
Haiku : pretrichor
After storm, rainbow
Walking with my love in grass
With petrichor's scents
"Petrichor, the name for the smell of rain on dry ground, is from oils given off by vegetation, absorbed onto neighboring surfaces, and released into the air after a first rain."
Walking with my love in grass
With petrichor's scents
"Petrichor, the name for the smell of rain on dry ground, is from oils given off by vegetation, absorbed onto neighboring surfaces, and released into the air after a first rain."
36 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : Love Poems and Poetry Seeking Critique about Heartbreak, Lost Love and Relationship Problems (Page 4)