Love Poems Seeking Honest Critique
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poetry about lost love, heartbreak and relationship problems
Honest critique has been requested for these poems. Want to learn the art of critique? Join our Honestly Crafted Critique group.
On the Bright Side
Still as lost as yesterday
But
The world is not currently ending
My atoms are not presently spreading themselves across the universe
Forgetting me
Will there be much to remember?
My lungs stopped exploding a few moments ago
After my heart stopped beating because the angel on my shoulder said it should
I was deaf until I heard those words
A little piece of advice:
Angles lie
At least devils are upfront about it
Skin intact
Hands underwater
They're drowning
Not me
That's why they can hold you so closely
They are reaching for...
But
The world is not currently ending
My atoms are not presently spreading themselves across the universe
Forgetting me
Will there be much to remember?
My lungs stopped exploding a few moments ago
After my heart stopped beating because the angel on my shoulder said it should
I was deaf until I heard those words
A little piece of advice:
Angles lie
At least devils are upfront about it
Skin intact
Hands underwater
They're drowning
Not me
That's why they can hold you so closely
They are reaching for...
44 reads
0 Comments
Angel of Death
You were an angel, just lost
So I'm just going to take your halo and hang myself with it
That's the cost you must pay for tossing my feelings away
You led me astray, I let down my guard hoping you would stay
But instead you used my heart as an ashtray
I wish you could just stay away from my thoughts
Instead my memories of you are just on replay
I didn't have to betray my believes of keeping my emotions inside
But instead I let them come out to play, leaving them open for prey
You're colder then snow, nobody knows how far you'll go to kill
The sight of...
So I'm just going to take your halo and hang myself with it
That's the cost you must pay for tossing my feelings away
You led me astray, I let down my guard hoping you would stay
But instead you used my heart as an ashtray
I wish you could just stay away from my thoughts
Instead my memories of you are just on replay
I didn't have to betray my believes of keeping my emotions inside
But instead I let them come out to play, leaving them open for prey
You're colder then snow, nobody knows how far you'll go to kill
The sight of...
30 reads
0 Comments
Moving along
You fell
and i crushed
you whispered sweet nothings
and i was with another
i was falling
but i was afraid
you told me i had nothing to fear
to not be afraid
I fell
and you fade
your peace was made
you found someone new
to be everything to you
now i long to be with you
and i cant tell how you feel
my heart wasnt yours to steal
but you took it
my mind wasnt yours to play
but you shook it
you made me fall for you, then moved along
and i crushed
you whispered sweet nothings
and i was with another
i was falling
but i was afraid
you told me i had nothing to fear
to not be afraid
I fell
and you fade
your peace was made
you found someone new
to be everything to you
now i long to be with you
and i cant tell how you feel
my heart wasnt yours to steal
but you took it
my mind wasnt yours to play
but you shook it
you made me fall for you, then moved along
47 reads
0 Comments
Radical blues dancer.
I'm taken by your mind
radical blues dancer
nerdy science teacher
walk into a kiss
hold you under the covers
for hours and hours
said bye at the train platform
reminders the sun does shine a little brighter
sometimes
through the worse of times for the world
the world outside these walls is wild
and worrying me
but I'm happy smiling
snuggled up to you
in your company
and your security.
radical blues dancer
nerdy science teacher
walk into a kiss
hold you under the covers
for hours and hours
said bye at the train platform
reminders the sun does shine a little brighter
sometimes
through the worse of times for the world
the world outside these walls is wild
and worrying me
but I'm happy smiling
snuggled up to you
in your company
and your security.
23 reads
0 Comments
.:Take.T’me.Love:.
I know
sometimes
patience runs thin, but
I'm not one to play around or
analyze the differences in our depth
not one to waste time when we
both have something to say
being distant...it’s not for me
but for me there’s a whole lot in not wanting to forget
we both need to know
they’ll be a time when time is still...and
there may not be enough time or it’ll be
time out of time wherein
we won't speak long enough
or loud enough
or straight enough
a time without the words seemingly stifled in...
sometimes
patience runs thin, but
I'm not one to play around or
analyze the differences in our depth
not one to waste time when we
both have something to say
being distant...it’s not for me
but for me there’s a whole lot in not wanting to forget
we both need to know
they’ll be a time when time is still...and
there may not be enough time or it’ll be
time out of time wherein
we won't speak long enough
or loud enough
or straight enough
a time without the words seemingly stifled in...
49 reads
0 Comments
Navy Girl, You Look So Sad
I knew what was coming but I let myself forget. You enlisted and I tried not being upset...but every time we got together you just...
We text and it's a game we play of who cares less and you always win. I want to see myself through your eyes, am I the stupid girl I think I am? In two days you're gone but you'll visit, you just won't visit me...
Will you think of me while you fly those planes?
Will I be the girl who waits for her guy to come back after boot camp?
No, because you're not mine.
But I will always belong to you.
Every time you're here,...
We text and it's a game we play of who cares less and you always win. I want to see myself through your eyes, am I the stupid girl I think I am? In two days you're gone but you'll visit, you just won't visit me...
Will you think of me while you fly those planes?
Will I be the girl who waits for her guy to come back after boot camp?
No, because you're not mine.
But I will always belong to you.
Every time you're here,...
42 reads
1 Comment
Empty..
Empty..
When You Left You Took apart Of me With You..
You Never Really Knew How Much you Meant to Me..
When Someone Says Your Name I Flinch and Try not to Cry..
When i Start to think Of You My Wrists Start To ache For a Knife..
I Don't Understand Why You Left,
Empty..
A Wound That Never Heals..
And All The Pain I Feel..
I Want it To end..
I've Tried so Hard To Forget You..
But There's a Little Spot In My Mind..
That Your Always There..
And It Isn't Fair.. I Bet You've Already Forgotten About Me..
The Pain Never Ends..
You Broke Me...
When You Left You Took apart Of me With You..
You Never Really Knew How Much you Meant to Me..
When Someone Says Your Name I Flinch and Try not to Cry..
When i Start to think Of You My Wrists Start To ache For a Knife..
I Don't Understand Why You Left,
Empty..
A Wound That Never Heals..
And All The Pain I Feel..
I Want it To end..
I've Tried so Hard To Forget You..
But There's a Little Spot In My Mind..
That Your Always There..
And It Isn't Fair.. I Bet You've Already Forgotten About Me..
The Pain Never Ends..
You Broke Me...
32 reads
0 Comments
If only I could transfer the feeling into you through a simple touch
I need to find the correct combination of words to slip from my mouth to your ear
Gotta find the words that you want to hear
The ones that make a smile bloom across your face and make you realize I'm not a mistake
cause it feels like as of recent every word I let flow from me into you lit fire to my tongue and left a knife in your ear
So i keep my distance from your existence
I go back into my own reality and I reread every line i ever wrote
I re arrange every single word that I ever spoke
But its still not there
No the sentence i need exists in a universe...
Gotta find the words that you want to hear
The ones that make a smile bloom across your face and make you realize I'm not a mistake
cause it feels like as of recent every word I let flow from me into you lit fire to my tongue and left a knife in your ear
So i keep my distance from your existence
I go back into my own reality and I reread every line i ever wrote
I re arrange every single word that I ever spoke
But its still not there
No the sentence i need exists in a universe...
72 reads
1 Comment
my girl
There is this girl that I know that's beautiful to me
I wish that she could see that she is perfect as can be
She might not be extremly skinny but i dont really care i love just the way she is and no one could compare
I wish that she could see that she is perfect as can be
She might not be extremly skinny but i dont really care i love just the way she is and no one could compare
38 reads
3 Comments
Adoringly Forever
Beautiful,
Are you listening to me?.
Lovely angel,
When have you started living?.
I've been wondering where you've been all of my life.
My beautiful,
I've been here all of my life.
When you love me,
I'll love you till the end,
When you need me,
I will need you even more.
I am yours,
You are mine adoringly forever.
I adore all that you are.
You are far from simple,
You are original.
God, knew what he was doing when he made me and you.
We are one,
Our love is on the run of love.
When you love me,
I'll love you till...
Are you listening to me?.
Lovely angel,
When have you started living?.
I've been wondering where you've been all of my life.
My beautiful,
I've been here all of my life.
When you love me,
I'll love you till the end,
When you need me,
I will need you even more.
I am yours,
You are mine adoringly forever.
I adore all that you are.
You are far from simple,
You are original.
God, knew what he was doing when he made me and you.
We are one,
Our love is on the run of love.
When you love me,
I'll love you till...
66 reads
1 Comment
The Hurting
This feeling....
I've felt it before
It's all too familiar
This Pain...
Like my soul is draining
Like my heart is being devoured by some monster
I've only known this feeling twice
Third times the charm
I'm craving you
Wanting you
Feeling you against my lips
Wanting the warmth of your skin
It hurts
I feel I'm losing you
I'm pushing you away not even trying to
Confused by the lonely voices inside my brain
Wanting to end it all
Going Insane
Feeling your touch
Seeing your face
The guilt is seeping deep
I'm losing...
I've felt it before
It's all too familiar
This Pain...
Like my soul is draining
Like my heart is being devoured by some monster
I've only known this feeling twice
Third times the charm
I'm craving you
Wanting you
Feeling you against my lips
Wanting the warmth of your skin
It hurts
I feel I'm losing you
I'm pushing you away not even trying to
Confused by the lonely voices inside my brain
Wanting to end it all
Going Insane
Feeling your touch
Seeing your face
The guilt is seeping deep
I'm losing...
51 reads
0 Comments
Can we go back?
Can we go back?
To when you needed me for everything.
To when all you knew was me.
To when all we needed was each other.
I miss the feeling of having you at all times,
waking up to you every morning was my favorite thing.
It's amazing how time flew,
two years ago we were inseparable.
And now,
well… Look at us.
You'll always be my favorite person,
and it breaks my heart knowing that you don't remember any of this.
I don't know how I'm going to leave next year,
And not have you like I want to… Or at least how I have...
To when you needed me for everything.
To when all you knew was me.
To when all we needed was each other.
I miss the feeling of having you at all times,
waking up to you every morning was my favorite thing.
It's amazing how time flew,
two years ago we were inseparable.
And now,
well… Look at us.
You'll always be my favorite person,
and it breaks my heart knowing that you don't remember any of this.
I don't know how I'm going to leave next year,
And not have you like I want to… Or at least how I have...
60 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Love Poems and Poetry Seeking Critique about Heartbreak, Lost Love and Relationship Problems (Page 2)