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Poetry competition CLOSED 19th June 2014 2:09am
WINNER
kriticool
kriticool
RUNNER-UP:
johnrot
Damn The Gods
Poetry Contest Description
when I spit in the eye of the gods, then I'll smile - Clash of the Titans
Let's do a little god (not necessarily the Christian God) bashing. Go ahead, take your best shot at whatever divine being that pisses you off the most. Is it The God? Satan? Odin? Amon-Ra? The undead levitating spaghetti god of doom? Take your pick but make it funny
TWO WEEKS
NEW POEMS ONLY
AT LEAST 150 WORDS
RHYME IT
MAKE ME LAUGH
TWO WEEKS
NEW POEMS ONLY
AT LEAST 150 WORDS
RHYME IT
MAKE ME LAUGH
The Company of Gods
Who’d want to keep the company of gods?
They’re vain, ill-tempered, selfish and unfair;
In any game they’ll always rig the odds.
They never lose, they don’t know how to share.
The Greek lot never played by any rules,
Zeus lied and cheated, threw his weight about,
Sated his lust, treated men like fools,
Devoid of pity, conscience or self-doubt.
But would the Bible’s God be to your taste?
Can you imagine having Him round to dinner?
Vindictive, vengeful, always laying waste,
And it’s hell for ever for the poor, weak sinner.
No, gods, I think, should entertain themselves,
Along with monsters, fairies, gnomes and elves.
(Less than 150 words, but I can't write to a specified word number. I think it fulfils all the other criteria, though whether it makes you laugh depends on your sense of humour.)
Who’d want to keep the company of gods?
They’re vain, ill-tempered, selfish and unfair;
In any game they’ll always rig the odds.
They never lose, they don’t know how to share.
The Greek lot never played by any rules,
Zeus lied and cheated, threw his weight about,
Sated his lust, treated men like fools,
Devoid of pity, conscience or self-doubt.
But would the Bible’s God be to your taste?
Can you imagine having Him round to dinner?
Vindictive, vengeful, always laying waste,
And it’s hell for ever for the poor, weak sinner.
No, gods, I think, should entertain themselves,
Along with monsters, fairies, gnomes and elves.
(Less than 150 words, but I can't write to a specified word number. I think it fulfils all the other criteria, though whether it makes you laugh depends on your sense of humour.)
Anonymous
<< post removed >>
Scratch that earlier post--found some time and inspiration today!
Jumpin’ Jazz Gods
(To the tune of Judy Garland’s “Get Happy” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2U-rBZREQMw )
Hey all you false gods, you know what’s comin’
There’s gonna be a price to pay.
Hey all you false gods, I’m happy, hummin’
This little tune I wrote today.
How ‘bout you, Allah, the god of Islam;
You fooled Mohammed and all his kin.
You said the virgins would keep them all warm,
But you danced them into sin.
And there’s a million gods of Hindu,
Polytheism, at its best.
Holy shit, I lost count—how ‘bout you?
Let’s leave ‘em in Pandora’s chest.
Don’t forget Ba’al and the Queen of Heaven,
The biggest deities of Biblical times.
And before you can count to seven,
They’ll pass your children through the flaming bonfires.
So judgment is right on its course,
Your time is short and you know it won’t last.
And when the Lord comes on His white horse—
It’s Jesus and He’ll kick your ass.
Jumpin’ Jazz Gods
(To the tune of Judy Garland’s “Get Happy” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2U-rBZREQMw )
Hey all you false gods, you know what’s comin’
There’s gonna be a price to pay.
Hey all you false gods, I’m happy, hummin’
This little tune I wrote today.
How ‘bout you, Allah, the god of Islam;
You fooled Mohammed and all his kin.
You said the virgins would keep them all warm,
But you danced them into sin.
And there’s a million gods of Hindu,
Polytheism, at its best.
Holy shit, I lost count—how ‘bout you?
Let’s leave ‘em in Pandora’s chest.
Don’t forget Ba’al and the Queen of Heaven,
The biggest deities of Biblical times.
And before you can count to seven,
They’ll pass your children through the flaming bonfires.
So judgment is right on its course,
Your time is short and you know it won’t last.
And when the Lord comes on His white horse—
It’s Jesus and He’ll kick your ass.
Dam the gods
Dam the gods they are
All a bunch of fuckin frauds
Just a bunch of shit
Fabricated to control the meek
Its the money making scam of the week
For the last 2000 years
Its not my fault u cant smell the shit
While you are on your knees so
Put your hands togher and pray
And hopefully god will save the day
Hold on to that little sunshine ray
If its salvation u seek go hold the hand
Of a catholic priest for a day he will fix your week
Maybe have him watch your kids
He will do the work of the lord
Probably with his pork sword
Evolution has been proven
Over and over now your just grasping
At straws god, gods pffft bunch of
Fuckin frauds we where all monkeys at one
Time
Its called science
So throw your faith out the window
jump in a lake and join the
Human race
God is fake
For fuck sake
Wen i was 15 i rolled
A half ounce joint with
Page 420 from the bible
Thats the only time i was
Close to jc and it made me puke
Fuck god its all a fiscad
I would rather kiss a cod
He can lick my rod
Pull your head out of your ass
Your being controlled by
Something that dosent
Exhist
Dam the gods they are
All a bunch of fuckin frauds
Just a bunch of shit
Fabricated to control the meek
Its the money making scam of the week
For the last 2000 years
Its not my fault u cant smell the shit
While you are on your knees so
Put your hands togher and pray
And hopefully god will save the day
Hold on to that little sunshine ray
If its salvation u seek go hold the hand
Of a catholic priest for a day he will fix your week
Maybe have him watch your kids
He will do the work of the lord
Probably with his pork sword
Evolution has been proven
Over and over now your just grasping
At straws god, gods pffft bunch of
Fuckin frauds we where all monkeys at one
Time
Its called science
So throw your faith out the window
jump in a lake and join the
Human race
God is fake
For fuck sake
Wen i was 15 i rolled
A half ounce joint with
Page 420 from the bible
Thats the only time i was
Close to jc and it made me puke
Fuck god its all a fiscad
I would rather kiss a cod
He can lick my rod
Pull your head out of your ass
Your being controlled by
Something that dosent
Exhist
Anonymous
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