the moment when I die

                 

my eyelids will shut
and my eyes will open
my flesh will cease to exist
but my soul would reborn
part of everything...
owner of nothing
i will exist forever.

I'm so completely OBSESSED with this. Thank you so much for making the best poem ever :]

Slowly I sink
My cries surfacing without me
Cold, Yet comforting

I always imagined my days
Ending, loosing my voice

My visions slowly fading
I feel as if my chest is caving

Thoughts revive in my mind like a movie
Every moment of sadness flashing by contrasting with my joy
Every tear, every smile, every hug, every fight
Now coming to an end

I will grasp my chest, giving away my will to live
My hand faintly reaching towards the surface once again
Before finally,
The movie finishes
My body lifeless
Every moment has become irrelevant

As I lay there
Shivering and cold
The ground like ice
And the dirt so old

Blood gushing from my side
Like a red ruby flood
Staining and mixing
With the dark and thick mud

"I must live" I say to myself as I try to move
My bones are then crunching and cracking
Right there out of their grove

Hundreds and thousands of needles fire up my spine


All this pain
Why is it mine?

Hours I lay there
Tasting my blood
Silvery and warm
I'd spit if I could

Now the smell lingers about
The stench just as vivid and the sound of when I shout

Finally, I feel it
My time has grown near
It seem as though I will die just laying here

Why did I always have to live life on the edge?
If I could have just controlled myself,
Maybe I wouldn't have fallen off that ledge

Lost Control

Fear spreads through me as the familiar rage begins to overtake me
If only people knew what was happening, if only they could see.
But no one recognizes the signs, the tremors in my body, the darkening eyes
No one sees the monster inside me; no one hears my desperate cries.
The monster is back, bloodthirsty as ever, desiring to cause even more pain
Every time he comes out, I lose more of myself, become more and more insane.
He takes over, binds me with his hate, and locks me away
I never know how long he’ll imprison me for, whether a few hours or the whole day.
Someone, anyone, I beg you, please, hear my cries, come and set me free
Just release these shackles; can’t you see that this is not who I want to be?
I try my hardest to win control, but his hatred crushes my will
For he’s stronger now; I can sense this time he has intent to kill.
The only thing I feel is the burn of his many cuts over my exposed veins
He said he just wants to help, and that this is the only way to stop the real pain.
In desperation to stop the internal pain, I believe him and his web of lies
As he holds the knife out to me, I realize he’s just helping, he’s truly quite wise.
With determination in my eyes, I take the knife from him and make a tighter fist
And like a skilled artist, create new bloody designs that flow from my cut up wrists.
It drips down like gentle rain, and forms a dark puddle on the floor
In my head, I hear my monster sweetly whispering to me “that’s it, just a little more”.
Like a student desperate to please his master, I begin to slice faster and deeper
This whole time, it’s felt like I was climbing a hill…but suddenly that hill seems steeper.
My arms burn, legs become weak; I try to move but slip on something slick
As I look around, I see a red floor, and realize I lost a lot of blood, and lost it too quick.
I feel tired, all I want to do is just lay here on the floor, and get some rest
As I start to drift away, I realize that maybe this cutting idea wasn’t the best.
I can feel the fire beginning to fade, replaced with an icy feeling that’s spreading fast
I feel betrayed, for I believed my lie that by doing this I would find peace at last.
Instead I feel nothing but regret, and an overwhelming sense of fear
For it has finally dawned on me that I went too far, it’s too late, now my end is here.
My eyesight dims, breathing becomes labored, head starts to pound
With frantic eyes, I look for my monster to help me, but he’s nowhere to be found.
He’s gone, no longer inside me; his lust is finally satisfied after all these long years
I’m alone now; no monster here, only a blood stained knife and a pool of red tears.
My strength is gone; I finally lost the fight against my depression and sorrow
I fall into the shadows of darkness, never again to wake to another tomorrow.

i should have said
i would have but
i drew a picture once
never finished it
bombs are meant to blow
guitars are'nt just decoration
john was meant to rot
stones are meant to live forever
why would i confess my sins
if you supposedly already know
if birds could'nt fly
would they still have hollow bones?
mine seem to be pretty solid
but something else is always breaking easily
the booze was a gift and a curse
free will my fucking ass
i would'nt take a shit if i did'nt have to
sunshine only warms the outside
blue sky hangovers
alarm clocks are designed to piss me off
i did'nt wanna be here this long
all this hind sight
should have snapped my neck
don't claim the grand canyon at sundown
take responsibility for your actions
like the atom bomb love
betrayal
don't blame ozzy
if playing the record backwards
has you somehow hearing kill your parents
hanson records in reverse
don't tell you to mow the lawn
if witches were really witches they would'nt burn so easily
why try to send one to their demise
if you feel their will was born of fire
i will die bloody
doin a buck twenty on two wheels
running from some christians
who said i could'nt have the money
to save my mother
never again
give up
give in
can't handle the cage
i saw the beauty of a tropical storm
i saw the hurry of a hurricane
a child with a fly feeding on his pupil
and not a notion to blink
so on that day
what do i have to say to god?
you are a sick serial killer
toying with an earthly ant farm
i just hope you don't play such a part
on the next plain
cuz if you do
i've been practicing myself
and i ain't one games
i take everything serious
rot gets the busiest

thank you

And he lay in his bed,
all alone.
No one was with him
to help him atone.

Not a single soul
was by his side.
So he just left his body
and died.

As I picked up the gun I felt a lump in my throat
Contemplating whether I should leave a note.

Another tear dripped down my cheek from my blood shot eyes
I don't see why I should , no one cares if I die

Some think I'm crazy or even insane
Truthfully I'm hurt,at the same time numb from the pain

I took one final breath to prepare for the blow
I never would've guessed this is how my life would go

I felt myself grit my teeth as they started to chatter
And for a brief moment I saw the blood splatter

It dripped down the walls and was all over the floor
I never had to hurt or feel the pain anymore

No more heart ache, no more sorrow
No more worrying about tomorrow

I was left with no hope and was tired of pretending
That's why I gave my life such a bittersweet ending!

Whispering wind spare me this once
Your ever vengeful wrath

There's almost nothing left of me
And all I want is to gaze until the last

Into the beauty of another sunset
Ready to disappear with me

I heal my wounds with grief
And embrace all long lost dreams

I'm drifting away with the clouds
The rain will rejoice when I go

And you'll sing, dear wind
As I stare lifeless into nothingness

How I trouble this world

no more