B.O.Y.

                     

The Waters Drag me

I sift
through diluted waters
tainted in blood.
Of those I loved
Of those who sought elimination.
I see them all before me
speaking in tongues I shouldn't understand
and sing in songs
of lives I have taken
and lost.

There he sits
within my cataracts
but a mere memory.
There, she embraces him.
Her, of my deepest affection

They cannot be real

They're both here,
before me.
Caressing my trigger finger,
soothing my nerves
relaxing me.

But now wind gusts
cast them away,
I feel empty
many tears,
have fallen from my eyes
but not tonight.

Where does my ambition burn,
but within the boilers of fear?
It yearns for release.
To open the floodgates,
Would be to cast,
a decorative splatter
with the pulling of a trigger.
as barrel to brush.
So I paint the walls with my brains.

I hear them,
singing.
I step into the fog
To join them.

               

Duet

My fingers caress her body
Sliding along her length
She cries, softly, as my fingers pause,
Then begin again
Faster, my hands move of their own volition
She screams, she shouts, she wails,
She's beautiful and warm
And I dance with her, my fingers a blur
We're one, bonded together
By her voice, the music
It quickens my pulse
As the tempo increases
Sensual music, created by both
Who are now one.
My saxophone and I...

fault

i don't know what's happened to my head
emotions spinning while my heart is dead
blame myself for all the things you've done
locked in darkness reaching for the sun
 
but i can't see it
i'll never be it
i can't see through it
i'll never do it
it's so damn dark
here in my heart
black as a pit
feeling like shit
 
but it's not my fault
it's not my fault
it can't be...
please tell me please
it's just not my fault...
 
you gave me all the things i hate
now in your eyes i don't seem to rate
i took it all but i won't take the blame
it's no more fun for me to play your game
 
i won't do it
no point to it
i can't take it
just can't shake it
(THIS FEELING)
(this guilt)
it's so damn dark
here in my heart
black as a pit
feeling like shit
 
but it's not my fault
it's not my fault
it can't be...
please tell me please
it's just not my fault...
 
you did this to me
finally i can see
nothing i did was wrong
i just wasn't strong
enough to handle my pain and your pain and our pain...
 
but it's not my fault
it's not my fault
i don't need you (or anyone)
to tell me
it's not my fault...
 
2/21/93

Mythic Arrogance

"I love you!" she screamed,
and as with the rest of the groupies
I smiled and thanked her
while walking away

"You're beautiful!" he whispered,
touching my face,
and I nodded "You're right!",
gently peeling his fingers away

"We're meant for one another!
Let me love you forever!"
Another awestruck maiden
and my patience wears thin

"How could I love any of you?
Have you seen yourselves? Have you seen ME?!?"
Striding away proudly, my head held high.
She curses me silently, but even if I'd seen,
no reason to care

Arrogance is thirsty work though
so I pause at a lake
and beneath its surface I finally see
someone deserving of me

"I love you! You're beautiful!
We're meant for one another!"
Ecstatically in unison
we declare our passion.

"Let me love you forever!"
again speaking as one.

And we did, for the rest of our short lives,
before dying of starvation,
living only in the eyes of one another.

We died together
but that cursing bitch
dragged my lover's body out
replacing it with her own.

I'm never getting out of this damn tree.

stochastic monastic ! extreme content !

i'd like to slip her the old rubber band,
if you know what i'm saying (overly bombastic)
but where would i slip such a slithery strand
and why wouldn't she slap my hand
when i grope her too iconoclastic?

most would say she makes them hard
and that's coolly impersonal (so onomastic!)
but every hint of priapsis for me is too lard
stiff as a slinky i'm so avant-garde
my sin stick is so ecclesiastic

the problem is that i cannot see
what holes i can reach (starched elastic!)
cuz her power over me
is her invisibility
so i'll just fuck me, Mr. Fantastic

Blinded

Many years ago
a babe was born
on a sunlit night.
Who could know
that by morn
the babe would lose his sight?
 
Blinded by the light
from the sun that rose at night,
the light made his world dark
But for the light inside his heart.
 
One the night of his thirteenth birthday
the sun ruled the sky again.
The light flared hot inside his heart
and sight was restored to him.
 
He could see but unlike others
he saw into the hearts of men.
Lies can't hide inside the heart,
nor can secret sin.
 
Years went by
as the boy grew
to become a man.
Who knew why
he saw through
men's hearts across the land?
 
Afraid of his power
they locked him in a tower
to protect secrets dark
hidden in their hearts.
 
Then the night of his twenty-fifth birthday
once more the sun shone down.
The tower glowed within the heat
as mud boiled in the ground.
 
The frightened people came next day
to kill the all-seeing one.
But his cell was bare, the door was locked...
Through open windows sang the sun.
 
Many years ago
a babe was born
on a sunlit night.
Who could know
that by morn
the babe would lose his life?

thank you Hidden Flame for the trophy. i am humbled, and will continue to attempt to improve and share my critical eye with others.