Poetry competition CLOSED 13th June 2013 10:57pm
WINNER
PierreTheMad
PierreTheMad
Lighten up!
Once a month
Once a month, my mood changes
mega bitch is released
my eyes blaze with fire
but not in a good way
beware
Once a month, chains won't hold me
mega bitch is released
internal demons spew
my hormones rage with fury
beware
cantankerous
petulant
querulous
mega bitch is released
beware
irritable
contentious
antagonistic
mega bitch is released
beware
see you in a few days Sir...
Once a month, my mood changes
mega bitch is released
my eyes blaze with fire
but not in a good way
beware
Once a month, chains won't hold me
mega bitch is released
internal demons spew
my hormones rage with fury
beware
cantankerous
petulant
querulous
mega bitch is released
beware
irritable
contentious
antagonistic
mega bitch is released
beware
see you in a few days Sir...
Anonymous
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Anonymous
<< post removed >>
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/images/uploads/poemimages/101156.jpg
Married Life ( Tommy cheats on his wife)
Tried my luck with the wife again last night
Begged and pleaded but no delight
How the hell did she become so frigid
Constantly leaving me painfully rigid
How can she be so cruel and mean
A selfish bitch, a cold ice queen
She takes all my money and pays her bills
Too bloody lazy to provide me some thrills
So sick and tired of having to fake it
Don't be scared love you won't break it
Excuse me now as I don't mean to be crude
These days my balls are as blue as my mood
A sexy lady walks past and I lose my head
Doubt the wife's ever done it anywhere but bed
I try to explain I am a man and I have needs
You neglect my junk until it damn near bleeds
Baby you know I try to be a better man
I did not marry to be loved by my hand
Can't take this no more I pack my bag
So randy I would even do an old hag
About to walk out when her sister knocks at the door
We went at it for hours and she still wanted more
Nine months later a bouncing baby boy arrives
He looks just like me to my wife's surprise
Shame his mum is as pale as her husbands skin
Wish I could cut my dick off and throw it in the bin
What's done is done and I cant take it back
Might have got away with it if I wasn't black.
Married Life ( Tommy cheats on his wife)
Tried my luck with the wife again last night
Begged and pleaded but no delight
How the hell did she become so frigid
Constantly leaving me painfully rigid
How can she be so cruel and mean
A selfish bitch, a cold ice queen
She takes all my money and pays her bills
Too bloody lazy to provide me some thrills
So sick and tired of having to fake it
Don't be scared love you won't break it
Excuse me now as I don't mean to be crude
These days my balls are as blue as my mood
A sexy lady walks past and I lose my head
Doubt the wife's ever done it anywhere but bed
I try to explain I am a man and I have needs
You neglect my junk until it damn near bleeds
Baby you know I try to be a better man
I did not marry to be loved by my hand
Can't take this no more I pack my bag
So randy I would even do an old hag
About to walk out when her sister knocks at the door
We went at it for hours and she still wanted more
Nine months later a bouncing baby boy arrives
He looks just like me to my wife's surprise
Shame his mum is as pale as her husbands skin
Wish I could cut my dick off and throw it in the bin
What's done is done and I cant take it back
Might have got away with it if I wasn't black.
Anonymous
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hOT sEX wITH gRANDMAaah
I met an old granny
from deepest Dundee
she danced to the bedroom
as fit as a flea
When I jiggled her titties
she groaned like a goose
so I tore off her bloomers
and sucked up the juice
She wailed, I am ready
for full intercourse
then leapt on my cock
and rode like a horse
I asked do you do this
for all the young men
She said not that often
only now and again
Now and again
and again and again
Now and again
only now and again
But granny grew breathless
as she ground down the beef
She said would you mind
if I take out my teeth
I'm afraid I might choke
as your member's so fit
they'll be safe in your navel
and can chew on my clit
Now and again
and again and again
now and again
always now and again
But then came disaster
with my rod like a rock
her gnashers went wild
and they bit off my cock
Now and again
and again and again
now and again
always now and again
So please heed this lesson
I've learned to my cost
Send your granny for check-ups
and always use floss
Not now and again
never now and again
not now and again
never now and again
I met an old granny
from deepest Dundee
she danced to the bedroom
as fit as a flea
When I jiggled her titties
she groaned like a goose
so I tore off her bloomers
and sucked up the juice
She wailed, I am ready
for full intercourse
then leapt on my cock
and rode like a horse
I asked do you do this
for all the young men
She said not that often
only now and again
Now and again
and again and again
Now and again
only now and again
But granny grew breathless
as she ground down the beef
She said would you mind
if I take out my teeth
I'm afraid I might choke
as your member's so fit
they'll be safe in your navel
and can chew on my clit
Now and again
and again and again
now and again
always now and again
But then came disaster
with my rod like a rock
her gnashers went wild
and they bit off my cock
Now and again
and again and again
now and again
always now and again
So please heed this lesson
I've learned to my cost
Send your granny for check-ups
and always use floss
Not now and again
never now and again
not now and again
never now and again
i love all that colors, that's why you should too
let's start with red
a horror movie
would be nothing without it
and those are my favorite
that's why it's my favorite too.
orange
is a poet's nightmare
because it can't
rhyme.
yellow is easy
that's hello.
green
is for
weed
as if you didn't see
that one coming.
blue
is a poet's wet dream
because we all
are.
purple is for
the long sleeve shirt i put on
because something is wrong with the spring heat
and it's too cold in my apartment.
pink
is
for
vaginas
yay!
brown
is
for
assholes
yeah!
white
is for
crackers
black
is for
...
olives
and gray
is for
everything
in between
so in all actuality
it makes
just a plain awful
ending.
let's start with red
a horror movie
would be nothing without it
and those are my favorite
that's why it's my favorite too.
orange
is a poet's nightmare
because it can't
rhyme.
yellow is easy
that's hello.
green
is for
weed
as if you didn't see
that one coming.
blue
is a poet's wet dream
because we all
are.
purple is for
the long sleeve shirt i put on
because something is wrong with the spring heat
and it's too cold in my apartment.
pink
is
for
vaginas
yay!
brown
is
for
assholes
yeah!
white
is for
crackers
black
is for
...
olives
and gray
is for
everything
in between
so in all actuality
it makes
just a plain awful
ending.
M.I.K.I.M.O.O.N.D.A.N.C.E.R.
_______________________________
my intuition
keeps
insisting
…musings?
opulent opinions?
never
denigrate
and
never curtail
engaging respect
my insight?
k-cool is my only option
negligent devils
add
nor cancel
earthly
repentance
man is kinetic
intellectually moves on or not
dope affirmations?
niceties?
can’t ever replace
The Story of Lazy Daisy & Her Amazing Titties
Daisy's titties taste of moonbeams
how they glisten in the rain
and though she likes them fondled
there are times it seems a strain
But when she's had a tipple
and her eyes begin to roll
she lets me stroke a nipple
to keep away the cold
'Tis smooth and soft and silky
like creme upon the tongue
and if I suck it long enough
the milk begins to run
Now one night I was mystified
the flow was not forthcoming
I could feel some sort of clot
and her eyeballs started running
She swooned into a dream
with her lashes all a flutter
and then she fell quite dumb
not a word would Daisy utter
I screamed:"What have I done?
The drink has caused our ruin!"
but she piped up:"Don't be daft
I know what I've been doing...
I was j-j-j ogging in the g-g-g ym
to exercise my s-s-s stutter
and I must have got 'em c-c-c clogged
with half a p-p-pound of b-b-b utter.
The solution is quite simple
but last time I f-f-forgot
to wrap my t-t-titties round my neck
and tie a double knot."
And now our nights are near perfection
Daisy's stutter's doing fine
it's just a shame that she can't churn
all that butter into wine
Daisy's titties taste of moonbeams
how they glisten in the rain
and though she likes them fondled
there are times it seems a strain
But when she's had a tipple
and her eyes begin to roll
she lets me stroke a nipple
to keep away the cold
'Tis smooth and soft and silky
like creme upon the tongue
and if I suck it long enough
the milk begins to run
Now one night I was mystified
the flow was not forthcoming
I could feel some sort of clot
and her eyeballs started running
She swooned into a dream
with her lashes all a flutter
and then she fell quite dumb
not a word would Daisy utter
I screamed:"What have I done?
The drink has caused our ruin!"
but she piped up:"Don't be daft
I know what I've been doing...
I was j-j-j ogging in the g-g-g ym
to exercise my s-s-s stutter
and I must have got 'em c-c-c clogged
with half a p-p-pound of b-b-b utter.
The solution is quite simple
but last time I f-f-forgot
to wrap my t-t-titties round my neck
and tie a double knot."
And now our nights are near perfection
Daisy's stutter's doing fine
it's just a shame that she can't churn
all that butter into wine
Anonymous
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Anonymous
<< post removed >>
Hands of The Clock
One...
A moment passes me by...
Two...
Stretching into the shadows...
Three...
I bury my head into the sand...
Four...
Emerging to see what has come of me...
Five...
I am thrust into the light...
Six...
Surrouded by other beings I am no longer alone...
Seven...
Their eyes are now upon me...
Eight...
They bring me to the vessle...
Nine...
A door somewhere far off is closing...
Ten...
The blackness is suffocating in space...
Eleven...
The world I leave behind with closed eyes
Twelve...
Swift and sudden pain give way to release as I am taken away...
I am alone again...
One...
A moment passes me by...
Two...
Stretching into the shadows...
Three...
I bury my head into the sand...
Four...
Emerging to see what has come of me...
Five...
I am thrust into the light...
Six...
Surrouded by other beings I am no longer alone...
Seven...
Their eyes are now upon me...
Eight...
They bring me to the vessle...
Nine...
A door somewhere far off is closing...
Ten...
The blackness is suffocating in space...
Eleven...
The world I leave behind with closed eyes
Twelve...
Swift and sudden pain give way to release as I am taken away...
I am alone again...
Cat
Can I sit with you?
Small cat...
I can see your eyes watching me from the dark
Cat...
They look green from here
Cat...
Are you hunting in the dark now?
Cat...?
If you were would you let me come?
Cat...
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/28778-cat/
Can I sit with you?
Small cat...
I can see your eyes watching me from the dark
Cat...
They look green from here
Cat...
Are you hunting in the dark now?
Cat...?
If you were would you let me come?
Cat...
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/28778-cat/
Pedro, the Ambivalent Domicile
One day, Pedro was just sitting there.
He was just sitting there because he's a fucking house
and that's all that houses can fucking do.
Nevertheless, Pedro didn't mind.
He didn't have an opinion on his lack of mobility
because he's a fucking house and houses don't have any fucking opinions on anything.
THE END
One day, Pedro was just sitting there.
He was just sitting there because he's a fucking house
and that's all that houses can fucking do.
Nevertheless, Pedro didn't mind.
He didn't have an opinion on his lack of mobility
because he's a fucking house and houses don't have any fucking opinions on anything.
THE END
A Bad Connection
With the alcohol came courage so I picked up the phone
It was 3:30am so I knew you'd be at home
After 8 or 9 rings you finally picked up
I started speaking quickly so you couldn't interrupt
All my emotions poured out like water from a faucet
Pride held me together but it wasn't long before I lost it
I told you of the pains I had suffered for regrets
For betraying the love that you chose to confess
I said I knew hope was lost but before I could move on
I wished you'd accept my apology and you said,
"Wrong number, moron!"
With the alcohol came courage so I picked up the phone
It was 3:30am so I knew you'd be at home
After 8 or 9 rings you finally picked up
I started speaking quickly so you couldn't interrupt
All my emotions poured out like water from a faucet
Pride held me together but it wasn't long before I lost it
I told you of the pains I had suffered for regrets
For betraying the love that you chose to confess
I said I knew hope was lost but before I could move on
I wished you'd accept my apology and you said,
"Wrong number, moron!"