Poetry competition CLOSED 13th June 2013 10:57pm
WINNER
PierreTheMad
PierreTheMad
Lighten up!
Anonymous
Poetry Contest Description
In the spirit of pure, silly fun. Let's write some hilarious stuff!
OK. Here are the rules;
Make it a Short piece in whatever style you like
Make it as funny as you can possibly can
Be rude
Be crude
Don't be shy
*Disclaimer*
If you are of a sensitive nature,
this comp is not for you.
There may be obscenities, innuendo
and terrible language
Let's have some bloody fun, damn it!
Anonymous
<< post removed >>
Anonymous
<< post removed >>
Anonymous
Good stuff!!
:D
:D
BRUISED DICK and EGO
One day I overheard across the room
asked a professor from his class,
"Ladies if you were held-up
what would you choose to give,
money or your virginity?"
I will give all my money,
replied one pretty lady
because I want my virginity
intact... when I get married.
I will offer my virginity
said the devilish, foxy lady
Not only will I enjoy it,
I'm going to lose nothing
except my bruised dick and ego!
One day I overheard across the room
asked a professor from his class,
"Ladies if you were held-up
what would you choose to give,
money or your virginity?"
I will give all my money,
replied one pretty lady
because I want my virginity
intact... when I get married.
I will offer my virginity
said the devilish, foxy lady
Not only will I enjoy it,
I'm going to lose nothing
except my bruised dick and ego!
Anonymous
<< post removed >>
(This really happened about 25 years ago, in the lab where I work--it was one of the funniest highlights of my career:)
True Stories Of A Lab Tech
There once was a gay man, who at four a.m.,
Put a dildo in his ass, again and again.
It felt good, he thought
To really get off
But the suction turned ugly, just then.
Gone up too far, Nature’s forces reversed
With no warning given for him to rehearse
How to back it out,
Though it made him shout
‘Til his neighbors thought him perverse.
An ambulance ride, he then made,
For an ER visit, for how he had played.
Yes, it got stuck,
Doing an ass-fuck,
And the surgeon’s day was then made.
Off to the OR, our Hero went,
Writhing in pain, hunched over and bent.
The doc got it out
With some snickering about,
How to the lab it would then be sent.
For in surgery, whenever something’s cut free,
It’s sent to the lab for biopsy, you see,
Regardless of source,
All things of course,
Get labeled as specimens for histology.
But the funniest part, that I must say,
Was the pathologist working on duty that day;
A sour old poop,
World War II Vet, to boot—
He got the dildo to start off his day. . .
All of us lab techs giggled and laughed,
And mimicked the pathologist, behind his back.
‘Twas a fitting reward
For when during the War,
He took part in gay-bashing and called them all fags.
True Stories Of A Lab Tech
There once was a gay man, who at four a.m.,
Put a dildo in his ass, again and again.
It felt good, he thought
To really get off
But the suction turned ugly, just then.
Gone up too far, Nature’s forces reversed
With no warning given for him to rehearse
How to back it out,
Though it made him shout
‘Til his neighbors thought him perverse.
An ambulance ride, he then made,
For an ER visit, for how he had played.
Yes, it got stuck,
Doing an ass-fuck,
And the surgeon’s day was then made.
Off to the OR, our Hero went,
Writhing in pain, hunched over and bent.
The doc got it out
With some snickering about,
How to the lab it would then be sent.
For in surgery, whenever something’s cut free,
It’s sent to the lab for biopsy, you see,
Regardless of source,
All things of course,
Get labeled as specimens for histology.
But the funniest part, that I must say,
Was the pathologist working on duty that day;
A sour old poop,
World War II Vet, to boot—
He got the dildo to start off his day. . .
All of us lab techs giggled and laughed,
And mimicked the pathologist, behind his back.
‘Twas a fitting reward
For when during the War,
He took part in gay-bashing and called them all fags.
Anonymous
<< post removed >>
MICKEY DICKEY
You don’t miss a trick, Mick
You look in good nick, Mick
As thin as a stick, Mick
To the gym did you go?
Still as thick as a brick, Mick?
Have you got a new chick, Mick?
Did she give you a lick, Mick?
You know, down there below
Did you give it a flick, Mick?
Was it over too quick, Mick?
You say you have sore dick, Mick
And it will no longer grow
Hey! Just hang on a tick, Mick
Don’t show me your prick. Mick
Whoa! I feel a bit sick, Mick
I don’t want to know
You don’t miss a trick, Mick
You look in good nick, Mick
As thin as a stick, Mick
To the gym did you go?
Still as thick as a brick, Mick?
Have you got a new chick, Mick?
Did she give you a lick, Mick?
You know, down there below
Did you give it a flick, Mick?
Was it over too quick, Mick?
You say you have sore dick, Mick
And it will no longer grow
Hey! Just hang on a tick, Mick
Don’t show me your prick. Mick
Whoa! I feel a bit sick, Mick
I don’t want to know
Anonymous
<< post removed >>
Once a month
Once a month, my mood changes
mega bitch is released
my eyes blaze with fire
but not in a good way
beware
Once a month, chains won't hold me
mega bitch is released
internal demons spew
my hormones rage with fury
beware
cantankerous
petulant
querulous
mega bitch is released
beware
irritable
contentious
antagonistic
mega bitch is released
beware
see you in a few days Sir...