Raw honesty..

-thread bump- i'll be following these entries for sure

erased because I am a pussy, and discussed someone that I know sometimes spy's on me

Oh wow. i got chills from each one of these. and from the poets that have entered i thank you . even lightbaron and i don't think you're a pussy.. Miss Sub wow. crimson whoa.. strider wow. all of you .. thank you .. i'm still working on mine. these give me more courage..

Bully
I was one of those bullies
who killed others with words.
I was a hot head and had a mouth
that was much to big.
I enjoyed stepping on other people's spirits
and crushing them to sand.
I wouldn't ever hit anyone, no,
I was too frightened of the consequences,
so I hid behind my wall,
in a tower of words that said bitch

It never phased me when someone cried,
I never noticed the features of those
I called ugly, fat, and hideous.
I never felt guilty when I saw the scars
on the arms of those I spat at,
it was okay, because it never hurt me, so
why care?

I never thought
that was my problem.
I never cared
that was my issue.

Hate made me stronger,
but I never realized
that all those people I called monsters,
they were people holding mirrors,
and I kept seeing reflections of me.

Afraid of the dark~
I'm afraid of the dark,
Because I'm afraid of you.
Will you come out of the closet,
To torture me,
Play with the lips of down under,
Tape my peach together again?
Will you torture me,
Molest me again?
This fear is unreasonable,
You're a state away.
But I still fear you anyway.
You were supposed to be my adoptive cousin,
Not my molestor.
But it happened as it did,
And now I have this childish little fear of mine.

                          Do the World a Favor

Move your hands
Before I break off your arms
Do you want to see destruction?
Just push me a little further
With manipulative words
And slamming doors
Then I will destroy any foundation
That you still have firmly planted.

I dare you to threaten suicide
One more fucking time
Before I do the world a favor
And set your bed blazing
You begged me with desperate lies
"If you just stay
I will go into therapy
And turn around my life"
Well I am leaving
So I don't give a fuck if you try.

"You have changed, you were once so sweet."
How can you truely not see that
This "raging bitch" is your masterpiece,
When you tell me I am selfish
And who I can be around
That I am the reason
For the stars falling down?
What the hell do you expect,
Your heavenly wishes to be granted
From my demon damaged heart?

I made excuses for your words
And I defended your apathy
You always loved the dramatics
Making a scene open to everybody's viewing
I hid away from my friends
Because you made me embarrassed
With the fucked up ways you acted
You had me convinced all I'd ever know
Was blood stained sleeves
And crinkled bandaid wrappers
Ripped open in a red rush.

Stop acting like this is doesn't involve you
You're spewing toxic bullshit
That has seeped into my skin and
Your removal is the antidote to this posion
Shut up, you are not fucking innocent
Get out of my life already
I am giving you to...

   One
Last chance will never be given
   Two
That is how many people
Need to love in a relationship
   Three
Times you foolishly said
That the abuse is on me...
Why are you still alive?
   I thought you said that if I left, you would die.

Reflection (6/???)



Let's talk about something serious for a second
something you've carried from your past
something you've come to like over the years.
Kindergarten
You remember, with Ms. Boumont?
I'm referring to to one day in particular.
You were in the class bathroom and another student barged her way in.
Yeah you remember.
Her hands were still soapy from washing them and she grabbed your cock and gave it a nice rub.
You got a hand job at age five.
You're fucking lucky, kid, not many guys get to say that.
You still remember the nasty little grin she had on her face.
After you got done with your piss you told the teacher.
You were such a good little boy.
She said she had already taken care of the whole situation and told you to go sit back down.
But you knew very well that she couldn't have seen what happened from where she was sitting.
Your teacher, the person you're supposed to trust, didn't even pay attention to what you had to say.

It wasn't until much later in life that you came to realize what happened to you.
You realized that you were molested and then no one would listen to you when you tried to tell them.
You carried that weight for a long time, and it began to fester and ferment into something sweet and juicy for me to snack on.
Five years old and a girl grabbed your dick.
Now you can't even get them to notice you.
What happened?

Wow!! i am blown away with the raw honesty. this is beyond my expectations and for that thank you all..

my body goes weak
As i scream i still can't swim
They push me out the boat and say"it's time to learn"
I start to drown
They just sit in the boat and laugh
I still dream about kicking their a**es
I sink deeper
I hear a motor then see a face
She came to my rescure
She helps me onto the jetski
Now the fear remains

My Love





The sunshine on your
face, is like looking  
into grace.
 
The glistening in your
eyes, tells me our
love will never die.
 
The warmth of your touch,
sends embers of fire
through me.
 
The sound of your voice,
is like a trickling stream.
 
Your soft wispers
comfort me.
Your gentle touch
protects me.
 
I know inside me,
that you will always
love me.