Confessional

Like raindrops on harp strings,
The gentle lullaby plays,
It emits temporary bliss,
Yet brings me immense pain.

Sawing at my emotions,
Deep down inside,
Such lovely pure music,
Echoing against a ruined mind.

The projector starts up,
Showing images most foul,
Of things i regretted the most,
That sent my nightmares on a prowl.

Innocence lost,
From a naive little girl,
Who sought shelter from a monster,
And thought him a rare pearl.

A secret buried deep down,
Inside her soiled little heart,
Afraid that it will ever emerge,
She wished that he would just depart.

She wanted him to die,
Along with her shameful secret,
With it eating at her everyday,
Of how she accepted the pervert.

Her own worst enemy,
Her mind beat her down,
That she was no longer pure,
She may as well drown.

Shameful, dirty, stupid,
The names got more worse,
All coming from inside her head,
Her own little curse.

She weeps in secret,
Of how dirty she felt,
When this lullaby played,
Against the secret she could never tell.

Love is unconditional

I've given him 11 months
and saturdays and sundays,
some school days and lunchtimes,
so many of my workbreaks.

I've walked with him
and slept with him
cried next to him.

Then I worked with him
and walked with him
and ate with him
then fell with him.

I gave him nothing at all
I gave him too much It's disgusting.

OK this is kind of an angry poem about an ex who screwed me over but i hope its at least entertaining XD

Hacked

Im new to this board
but i thought id get this flurred
so heres a story to tell your friends
and make them hope it doesnt happen to them in the end
i once had a chick fling
and I tell you she was a nasty thing
she would ignore my very existence
even after all of my persistence
then she cheated on my ass with a manfurb
and then kicked my ass to the curb
so ill confess what i did to her
i guess i didnt mean to be such a jerk
but i hacked her facebook account
and posted nudes to her friends and parents
aww but dont pout about it now
shes been done like a plow 20 times over
and i dont give a shit about her clover

I'm sorry to all those I've hurt or offended. I'm sorry to the hearts I've ever broken. I'm sorry to everyone, for being such a burden. I apologize ahead of time, for I don't know what I'm doing, or I'm what going to do. Most of all, I'm sorry to  Courtnee A. R. I betrayed you in your time of need, so you ran away. I'll never forgive myself for that, but I pray you will.

Nande(this is a little scatterd i did this from the top so please excuse the wording)

sometimes i wonder about myself.about what i truly care about.
i wonder why do i care so much about the things that dont value my life, things that i can get back in time.
but in my heart.ill never get those things back..
why???
i ask myself...
my honest answer is i do not no.

why do people care so much about what others think, about the opinion of anothers beings thought..
somehow it meens so much to us. like the small things i value in my life..
why do i collect dolls, why do i write poetry
why do humen nature wonder so much?

this is a question i just cant answer even if its for myself..

why do i cry when my feelings is hurt...
not just by words...but a verb.
a thought a simple judgment.

"its me " i say to the mirror. staring into my own eyes...
tears droping from my out spoken lies.
why do i feel so distance. so devided from my soul.

i wonder why sociity has to play apone a role...
i am stuck apone my writting becouse i have no way of organizing my thoughts..
you see and hear what i mean but not truly understanding..
like  an ink spilled apone white paper.

i am truly a mistake of masterpice.. i have my flaws that makes me unique, one of a kind.
whispering fluent languege in my mind.
but does that keep the humen mind stable??

so you ask me....what are your thoughts..secrets??

my thoughts are Merely an unstabolized record that plays a song i cant understand, and i wount untile im ready.

-kumiko Yamamoto

Sometimes I secretely stalk unknowing Street Walkers and imagine brutally murdering them (The manner of which is always different) and dumping their bodies into seperate recycling bins around the neighborhood.....just sometimes

sometimes i pretend
to be one of those people
who says they are worthless, but is in fact
amazingly splendidly unique and starshine
when in fact
i am simply
not

i am pretending now

Envy fills me everytime i see pain
I want to cut again and again
I want to bleed out into the floor
I want mother to see as she walks through the door
But she will never see
The pain she has caused me

I am filled with disgust
Everytime I eat
This small meal is something I must not digest
I'll purge every bit till I can't stay on my feet
But he will never see
The bulimic side of me

I can't help but cry
When I look in the mirror
If I were to die
Would anyone shead a tear
Would anyone finally see
The suffering I caused me

Call me crazy-
But I like to see the blood
Running down my body
Call me crazy-
But I like to dream
Of being gone
No longer in existence
Call me crazy-
But I forgive
Those who hurt me
Call me crazy
Call me anything you wish
But for future reference
Crazy is only my middle name

never mind. i cant figure out how to delete posts,

Secret

The secrets in my mind
are lined with dreams and lies
the only time it haunts me
Is when I close my eyes.

That’s when I see his face
The smile on his chin
The coldness of his eyes
His hand upon my skin.

I remember the sweetness of his voice
to hide his true intent
but when he posed his question
he begged for my consent.

What was I to do?
I was way too young
every word was stuttered
I was choking on my tongue.

I held the tears behind my eyes
I would be strong that day
and even though he pleaded
My answer wouldn’t  stray.

I remember he was forceful
with his hand upon my hip
his other hand had shushed me
and he placed it on my lip.

The story fades away
It’s put back on my shelf
the darkest of my secrets
I’m keeping from myself.