Vent

The pages are all torn
I can't win
thought I'd never leave that place
this race  never seems to end
struggling to answer the question
caught the train,never reached the destination
there aren't words for this.

a hanging hollow sits in the sky
I threw my ego on the bonfire and watched it die.
Built a wall around feelings so they block the hurt
hide from the tough truths in my black shirt.

Lacking in all I need
Give me more than rice and bread
The compass is confused
a life lived down
it has given me a mood, vulnerable and abused.

Dreams are only for the night
too loaded with potential disaster
to warrant an answer
Don't remind me it's a vain quest
that's my only request.

As of  March 2012

Anonymous said:<< post removed >>
Only one truly benefits...the one who wants it more. Great vent. [/quote]

Thanks A,  feelin kinda stupid right now...thought there was more than there actually was [/quote]
No need to feel like a ree ree. I can write a thesis on your poems if I want too. ( that sounded bad ) FWB, who really benefits from it the user or the use'ee. To stay is the best prevention. Now you made me feel all sad.

Painful, painful
Scream and shout
No way to let this out
Find the edge
Draw the red
This is my life
On the blade of a knife

They want beyond which I cant offer
Im in this life arena suffering like a soldier
After this that which is dangerous rolls up
And kicks my life dead like Im in a comma.


No love for me its clearly over
Animals around hurt me in order
Living to my expectations its no longer
I guess they will never call me stronger.


It doesnt kill me coz Im Goldberg
Hate me love me u are off my shoulders
Talk bad put it tough on ya
I repeat I don't care if are a grown up.

Its time for my nightmares to make me a strong man
Flying colors that's the option to foster
No second solutions I go hard and I flow smart
Damn! All the problems I will only get sober.

I face nightmares but I will never say holla
Always making moments coz I'm not a toddler
Ever feeling good enemies wont make me softer
Im a king and I deserve to shine and blow up.

The Name
The pain i felt
As the picture flashed
Rushed down my spine...
              ... In a cold Chill
The anger I felt
      That i could have been so stupid
I didn't knew
   A word could mean so much
Until the day
I knew the story
     I'm Truly
         ...Sorry
     For all that happened
I would change it, Stop it
     Prevent the pain, remove the memory
Then the anger...
       ... of having
                   ...The Name i...
         called you
Brought sooo Many memories
              I sat and i cried
TORE my mind apart...
   Wondering HOW???
           Anyone could do such a thing
To anyone so innocent
     Tears of Anger
Tear away myself
    ...For "The Name"
I said to you...

My feelings fell
        When it came out
My heart Sank
    ...Because the look
           ... Of Burning Pain
       Deep Hurting
That was brought about
  ... Reminiscing...
             Hurtful... Hands
I Still cant believe
     That was me...
But being honest...
       your NOT really...
I'm soo much more
     Than without you
The pain you Feel
        So do I
Because remember we're ONE
But..
                          ..."The Name"
        IS merely a name
But we're
          ... but your
                           ...but I'm
  ...All to blame
I cant express
            The feeling I get
When i read it
The scene...
         ... Before my eyes
I Truly
      HATE IT
I hate the people
             that did it
I hate the fact
             you were a part of it
If I could do
Anything to make it up
           KNOW I would...
Because The sorrow I feel
       Eats at me
Gnaws at my...
             ... Inner self
Because...
        ... "THE NAME"

Here I lay
In the forgotten tomb
Lost in a wasteland
Known as my mind

I can’t see the joy anymore
I can’t see where happiness is
It doesn’t exist
Nothing does anymore

I used to worry about hell
Its agony and pain
But then I realized
I’m already there

My fingers day by day
Burn in the flame
I’m addicted to the pain
It’s my only friend

I lay here
Isolated
Waiting for the end
Hoping for liberation

I cannot see
The meaning of it all
Why
Is this all so

I don't know
When I will break
Then will be the end
Then will be my death

For now i have lost
The only thing that matters
He was all I had left
Now I'm truly alone

Anonymous said:<< post removed >>

Thanks A,  feelin kinda stupid right now...thought there was more than there actually was [/quote]
No need to feel like a ree ree. I can write a thesis on your poems if I want too. ( that sounded bad ) FWB, who really benefits from it the user or the use'ee. To stay is the best prevention. Now you made me feel all sad. [/quote]

dont feel sad, I was Not offended by anything you said at all. It was a lesson learned is all, fun at the time and a little sting at the end I will live [/quote]
No sad here, glad your not a bubble bee. You would die after the sting. Lol

Sick and Tired

I'm sick of today and yesterday
I'm sick of tomorrow just the same
I'm sick of the limbo that occupies my time
and I'm sick of screaming your name

I'm tired of whoring out my heart
I'm tired of loving this pain
I'm tired of breaking my life apart
and I'm tired of starting over again

I'm sick of the sweet suffocation
I'm sick of each breath I breathe
I'm sick of everything holding me down
and I'm sick of the freedom to leave

I'm tired of sweating from carrying this weight
I'm tired of thirsting for more
I'm tired of living but loving to hate
and I'm tired of burning my core

I'm sick of every fake friend that I make
I'm sick of the bridges I have to burn
I'm sick of promises made only to break
and I'm sick of the lessons I loathe to learn

I'm tired of touch, and the trust it requires
I'm tired of tasting you too
I'm tired of fueling my facinorous fire
and I'm tired of burning the truth

I'm sick of the life I have left behind
I'm sick of the life I look forward to
I'm sick of fucking my fiendish mind
and I'm sick of fucking you too

I'm tired of bleeding into my beautiful book
I'm tired of the irrelevant rage
I'm tired of the capricious chances I took  
and I'm tired of every pointless page

I'm sick of the chaos I calmly create
I'm sick of exploiting my love
I'm sick of the tears, and of fragile fate
and I'm sick of not feeling enough

I'm tired of this altered state
I'm sick of what no one else sees
I'm tired of trying to hide in my hate
I'm so sick and tired of being me.

Taking Back My Life

Broken blood stained window paine.
That's right Bitch I ain't playin no game!

Who are you to think you could change my life?
This is my life Bitch,
Now you must FUCKEN die!!

Hope you liked when you kissed the ground,
Now with your blood and guts poring all around.

I've shed too many tears,
and had too many fears.

You STUPID FUCK
You think your so tuff?

Look at you now!
As I look from the window down.

Now I've taken matters into my own hands,
I hope that God will understand.

But I won't see you on my final day,
Because in HELL is where you'll finally lay!

firedaughter said:[quote-67179-13]Fallen

My life is misery, crude and cold,
Pain is all that makes it whole;
Stripped of my vanity, insanity prevails,
How can I belong when everything fails?;
One moment of peace, forever in gloom,
Dreams are broken, where nightmares bloom;

Struggling through, strong and true,
Betrayed at last, by some, by few;
Ignorance is bliss, something that I miss,
Tired and pissed, emptiness is this;
Spread the word, I'm going to die,
Lets see how many tears you cry;

To live another day, I lie to my mirror,
And bleed out my hate so I see clearer
Poison is my life, the cure is a curse,
To become a slave, I am not the first;
But vanity dies hard, I will not fail,
Bring the torture, this soul isn't frail.

Until the day I die, I suffer,
I am death, life is much tougher.



i really like this.. its deep >.< i can relate[/quote]

thank you :)