Story Poems Seeking Honest Critique
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poetry about Dreams, Fantasy and Fiction
Honest critique has been requested for these poems. Want to learn the art of critique? Join our Honestly Crafted Critique group.
Ink Spell
Look over here
you figure of ink
Tell me your secrets
and how you do think
I promise to share
my very best spell
The one where I mutter
and ruin your sputter
you figure of ink
Tell me your secrets
and how you do think
I promise to share
my very best spell
The one where I mutter
and ruin your sputter
43 reads
1 Comment
Letter
Hi, it's me!
Of course, you don't know me - yet.
That's because we've never met before in your life.
Will you do me a favour? Yes?
Then get your ass out of your ivory tower and find that beautiful woman with her radiant smile for me, fall for her, and - well, you know what to do...
If you'd do that for me, I'd always love you - Dad!
Of course, you don't know me - yet.
That's because we've never met before in your life.
Will you do me a favour? Yes?
Then get your ass out of your ivory tower and find that beautiful woman with her radiant smile for me, fall for her, and - well, you know what to do...
If you'd do that for me, I'd always love you - Dad!
53 reads
2 Comments
No Joke:
*Knock** **Knock**
I Turn out the lights
I Don't say a word
**Knock** **Knock**
Shush! Silence I pray!
A question is broached from outside the door
Why don't you answer
We know you can hear
Come out from the dark
We know you're in there
Frozen in fear, I shrink from within
A statement is blared as the door comes ajar
Come out, come out
Wherever you are
We've huffed and we've puffed
We've blown down your door!
You owe us, you owe us
We MUST have some more
Your soul's not enough...
I Turn out the lights
I Don't say a word
**Knock** **Knock**
Shush! Silence I pray!
A question is broached from outside the door
Why don't you answer
We know you can hear
Come out from the dark
We know you're in there
Frozen in fear, I shrink from within
A statement is blared as the door comes ajar
Come out, come out
Wherever you are
We've huffed and we've puffed
We've blown down your door!
You owe us, you owe us
We MUST have some more
Your soul's not enough...
55 reads
2 Comments
Excerpts from Jack Smith's journal-Pt.-1
The pounding of ever present rain shattered my hopes of ever reaching our sacred island.*
We sailed out towards the morning light with our backs to the crisp leanings of a failing nation,holding fast to our faith in the humanity that binds us comrade.
Our vessel, stocked well with each man holding hope in their eyes, while the shanty sang 'a hundred years ago', pressing to Gods honour for favour in this journey, we railed Hoorah till the sun rose straight above our heads.
This next turn of hours time brought forth a stir of waves, borne by a start from our perch...
We sailed out towards the morning light with our backs to the crisp leanings of a failing nation,holding fast to our faith in the humanity that binds us comrade.
Our vessel, stocked well with each man holding hope in their eyes, while the shanty sang 'a hundred years ago', pressing to Gods honour for favour in this journey, we railed Hoorah till the sun rose straight above our heads.
This next turn of hours time brought forth a stir of waves, borne by a start from our perch...
98 reads
22 Comments
Insomniac Story
The moon is a clock
Ticking through the night
Roses of darkness
Not a vision in sight
Moonsky is the only light
Counting down the minutes
All seems meaningless, despite
happy i've wasted it on you
The only delight
The stars are lost
So the dark must stay
Thats when thinking thoughts play
My bed is a dreamland
Where love does not exist
Only I'm not dreaming
Im one eye awake, thinking
All the time i kissed on you
goodbye.
All the pain of living a lie
All the mistakes of mine
No God to...
Ticking through the night
Roses of darkness
Not a vision in sight
Moonsky is the only light
Counting down the minutes
All seems meaningless, despite
happy i've wasted it on you
The only delight
The stars are lost
So the dark must stay
Thats when thinking thoughts play
My bed is a dreamland
Where love does not exist
Only I'm not dreaming
Im one eye awake, thinking
All the time i kissed on you
goodbye.
All the pain of living a lie
All the mistakes of mine
No God to...
48 reads
0 Comments
My Dreams
The lights.
The camera.
The action.
The bond of brothers performing as one.
The fame.
The babes.
The pictures.
The family that's formed listening to Twisted Sisters.
The sound.
The pound.
Turn me around.
Looking at the faces of the loyal crowd.
The clothes.
The money.
The drugs.
My God, it doesn't matter if you're ugly fucks!
My dream.
My hopes.
That's all.
A joke.
No way.
To say.
I guess I won't be a rockstar today!
The camera.
The action.
The bond of brothers performing as one.
The fame.
The babes.
The pictures.
The family that's formed listening to Twisted Sisters.
The sound.
The pound.
Turn me around.
Looking at the faces of the loyal crowd.
The clothes.
The money.
The drugs.
My God, it doesn't matter if you're ugly fucks!
My dream.
My hopes.
That's all.
A joke.
No way.
To say.
I guess I won't be a rockstar today!
39 reads
0 Comments
Hypocritical
There once was a young adult,
Innocent as could be-
Until he started puffing heavily on the THC tree.
This new activity filled up the dregs of his minuscule spare time,
He felt at ease participating-
Even though it was a crime.
He would even disregard his loving girlfriend to smoke,
And it didn't take long for his new hobby to make him broke.
But, every dollar he came across went to the pot,
His girl even gave a demeaning confrontation a shot.
"You need to stop this instant and get your priorities straight,
You just...
Innocent as could be-
Until he started puffing heavily on the THC tree.
This new activity filled up the dregs of his minuscule spare time,
He felt at ease participating-
Even though it was a crime.
He would even disregard his loving girlfriend to smoke,
And it didn't take long for his new hobby to make him broke.
But, every dollar he came across went to the pot,
His girl even gave a demeaning confrontation a shot.
"You need to stop this instant and get your priorities straight,
You just...
35 reads
0 Comments
Monsters
Creep
Creep
the monsters lie beneath
dont scream
they'll try and reach
reach out for you
take you
take you beneath too
creep
creep
the monsters lie beneath
Creep
the monsters lie beneath
dont scream
they'll try and reach
reach out for you
take you
take you beneath too
creep
creep
the monsters lie beneath
35 reads
0 Comments
“Tonight,” she said,
we're going to postulate the odds of cooling an entire room by the opened refrigerator door alone. We’re going to talk about rocks, bicycles, reversible engine cycles of Carnot, Indians on the wrappers of tootsie roll pops, and then were going to tell ghost stories; I’m going to scare the crap out of you so bad.
When you come to my house,
we are going to have
fun,
fun,
fun.
We'll do lots of...
When you come to my house,
we are going to have
fun,
fun,
fun.
We'll do lots of...
64 reads
11 Comments
Poet'ic Mathematics Etude
first: quickly
write
20absurd+apologetic
poems(twenty)
then, slip out away
in to thee deep dark
(of nighttime, yknow),
hooded, & perhaps even masked
wit
a hammer & a (very sharpened)
chisel
wit which to punc
ture twenty(20)tires---
de
corate the glass of these 5(five) chosen
a uto m o biles
wit a
p o e m of sincerest ab sur ditty
apologia....then,
...
write
20absurd+apologetic
poems(twenty)
then, slip out away
in to thee deep dark
(of nighttime, yknow),
hooded, & perhaps even masked
wit
a hammer & a (very sharpened)
chisel
wit which to punc
ture twenty(20)tires---
de
corate the glass of these 5(five) chosen
a uto m o biles
wit a
p o e m of sincerest ab sur ditty
apologia....then,
...
71 reads
6 Comments
Disambiguation
For a few millenia,
here i've been chained,
forced to obey,
as the laws of time,
bind me.
So here I wait,
for my release,
as to start the end of days,
and bring forth my hatred.
The snow is blinding,
the ice is numbingly cold,
but these chains burn my wrists.
I howl with pain,
as I am lonely,
I cannot eat,
I cannot sleep,
I just wait,
because one day,
they will slip,
and i'll be there,
to rain down my terror.
here i've been chained,
forced to obey,
as the laws of time,
bind me.
So here I wait,
for my release,
as to start the end of days,
and bring forth my hatred.
The snow is blinding,
the ice is numbingly cold,
but these chains burn my wrists.
I howl with pain,
as I am lonely,
I cannot eat,
I cannot sleep,
I just wait,
because one day,
they will slip,
and i'll be there,
to rain down my terror.
25 reads
0 Comments
Menagerie
Whisper me sweet nothings
As you lick my ear
Tell me that you love me
Even if untrue
Fill my head with little lies
As you steal me way
For I am your menagerie
Naked for your pleasure;
Willingly penned in
Undulating not for show
But basking in your favor
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CbrlZV0iTP4/UZVF1Man0SI/AAAAAAAACLk/Md4x5ZMZV58/s1600/3052153.gif
As you lick my ear
Tell me that you love me
Even if untrue
Fill my head with little lies
As you steal me way
For I am your menagerie
Naked for your pleasure;
Willingly penned in
Undulating not for show
But basking in your favor
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CbrlZV0iTP4/UZVF1Man0SI/AAAAAAAACLk/Md4x5ZMZV58/s1600/3052153.gif
46 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : Story Poems Seeking Critique about Dreams, Fantasy and Fiction (Page 4)